The Most Beautiful Day

Most couples begin their vows by describing each other as the clear sky after the rain; or something like that. Mine begins with a question, "What Are We?" It has been one year, seven months and fourteen days since you last asked me this. I know this not because I am a nerd, but because I remember my promise to you that broke all your rules.

Today, I stand before the sweetest star that God could have created in my skies. My hands are sure, my hands are steady, as I write this chapter for both of us called, marriage.

So what are we? Apparently, you're the woman of my dreams and I'm the man of yours. On the days that you are most ugly and grotesque, on the days that every moment of you takes my breathe away, everyday of our lives, I promise you; me.

My Solemn Vow, Gardens, Cyberview Lodge (The Sixth of November 2010)



It seems like an age since we've been together and yet our journey has only just begun.

No words explain it best than these beads underneath your shoes on the most beautiful day of our lives. It begins right here, after so many days of waiting for it to happen. It is here, it is now, it is our forever.



That morning, I woke up to this song in mind. The same song that appeared on the day that you turned to me so slowly and whispered my first "I Love You" from your lips. This serene song of Lathika's theme. I rubbed my eyes, half awake and embracing that finally the day had arrived. Gently, I picked up the phone to call you and within seconds you answered. This silent wave of calm swept past me as I cracked my first smile of the day. This day I knew would be ours; I love us :)



Standing hand in hand, I remember brushing past your tears to feel you. Perhaps everyone felt that it was a natural reaction for me to protect you and wipe away the tears. It was not. It was simply me, reaching out to you, letting you know that this moment, this emotion that overwhelmed you, it has also overwhelmed me as well. That this moment, we share at the altar, will be the first foundation stones we build in our marriage. You are a huge part of me, in fact the whole of me and I hope I will be the same of yours.



Standing before God and man, we made a vow. My heart would always belong to you and before the altar of God, I promise you me as you did to me. I always believed that the vow before God is only testament to what our hearts speak. It is a symbol to profess what our hearts feel first as a custom, as a religion and more importantly, as a language of love. I know you do not believe that love has to be professed but that is simply what a wedding is. My statement to you; that I will always love you, cherish you and treasure you all the days of our lives. In every imperfection of you, you are the perfection of me.

Like Jack Nicholson, you make me wanna be a better man.





Walking out as man and wife. I clutched your hand. There was no firmness, only that touch of you reaffirming me that our dreams were coming true as we made our first walk as man and wife. Every step was a step to the beginning of our marriage, every step we make forward, I promise you is a step we will always make together in life.

I always think that I could do things alone. I feel that it's not about doing things alone because I could anymore. But I feel that this life would be so much more meaningful with your hand in mine as we traverse the many things before us. And because of you, everything just seems all the more beautiful.



All the little details that we poured our blood, sweat and tears into for over a year just manifested itself and took shape in all these little things on our wedding day. I remember you scolding me and mocking me for cutting these movie tickets and love shaped tags. I remember trying so hard although my hands were too big and clumsy to hold the scissors. And how I would do my best to cut those laces for you on your night dress. I know that I was not perfect or even decent, but maybe all these small things we did together made you smile as we journeyed each day closer to our wedding.

Inspite of all the mess I created, it was simply perfect to every detail on the day. Each small detail added so much to what we wanted. We never saw it as a whole but simply did all we could in every detail with the same love we had for each other. It was beautiful. La vita e bella, baby. Life is beautiful because of us.







Walking with you out of the car to the first surprise we planned for the night, this simply set the tone for the evening. From the moment, we stepped out of the car, I knew we were going to enjoy every moment we could. Surprisingly, I never felt nervous at all the entire day and as the car trod into the garden, staring out to the waiting crowd, I was geared up to complete the day and make it as beautiful as I could. Maybe because it was because we both waited so long for this to happen, or maybe it was you that always calmed me down. But I was sure it was love that was guiding us the entire day. Love brought us together and it kept us with so much happiness at the start of our marriage.

I know you felt this wedding is so important as the first start to our marriage. I admit that I felt that the day would not determine it but rather us. What the marriage did, was give us so many chances for us to go through this experience together. To see things together, walk this walk together and to find meaning in all the things we do; from the small the the gigantic. You mean the world to me.





Our photographer spent an entire paragraph on her blog wondering on the fate of the doves we released. What I remembered, was us holding on to the birds spluttering with fear and excitement. My eyes met yours and I smiled. I felt like we were so much like this birds eager to fly off to see the world together. So raring to get ahead and paint pictures of our world. The world is ours to see and experience and all I want to do is live this life with you. My heart; my heart; beats for you.



We walked in to an unsuspecting crowd. No one knew what to expect and we definitely were going to keep the fun going on. No one knew this was actually the start to the night. As your dress sashayed next to me, there was no hesitation, nothing but just us and the world watching.

I can't dance but I remembered how you smiled and simply moved to the music. And it began.



And we rocked the stage!!!



Actually *we (girls and us) rocked the stage!!!!!!!! The girls were simply special to us. Wanting to see the night a success, they were simply marvelous on stage; putting in hours and hours of practice into wanting to make it perfect. We love you for all this and more (Linda wants to adopt all of you)!



And the real party started..the family got it going and the dance stage was all theirs. They were simply what we want our wedding to stand for; a good time and all the love in the world. As I write this, I am filled with so much gratitude. First to God for making everything perfect and everything we could have asked for. And to our family and friends, we stand humbled in the presence of so much love and happiness. As we made our speech, a part of me wanted to reach out and say that it would have been lovely for my grandfather to have seen us that day. I realised then that he was indeed watching over us, smiling that old grin of his, the grandfather I remembered would have wanted the best for me. Watching me grow up, he was always looking out for me. I would have been so proud if he could smile seeing us on our most memorable day of our lives. I say a little prayer for you, ah kong as I write this, hoping you're watching us with smiles.



Everyday since then, I wake up to the smiles of you and with you, there is no end to the happiness that I can see. This blog has been my canvass to paint how beautiful the world is and it has been with us from the start of that one single question to each day we have gone through together to this pinnacle of our wedding. Do you see what I see? Happiness. You are my happiness in every way man could have created a definition for happiness. And you are my meaning, in every way possible. What began as a story of me, finding for something which I never knew what until I met you, to the most beautiful day of our lives,

To see your face, to hear your voice
And oh, to touch you is a dream come true
So I'm standing here, with my hand held out
Knowing that your love will never fade, I stand amazed without a doubt

And I wanna hear your voice, in the morning when I rise
I think I know I'm just a normal man, only made of sand except when you're by my side
Will you love me, teach me, don't leave me I pray
And when I, and I'm thinking of the times
Your hands in mine, together we will stay
You made me better today
Better than I was before
And now my heart can rest and I will search no more
You made me better today,

My heart has wings
Oh you take me away
And every prayer I've ever prayed was answered today
So I'm standing here, with my hand held out
Knowing that my love will never leave
My hearts on my sleeve and now I believe

And I wanna hear your voice in the morning when I rise
I think I know I'm just a normal man, only made of sand except when you're by my side
Will you love me, teach me, don't leave me I pray
And when I, and I'm thinking of the times
Your hands in mine, together we will stay
You made me better today
Better than I was before
And now my heart can rest and I will search no more
You made me better today

I stand proclaimed, true love is here to stay
I stand proclaimed, forever starts today
Today...
You made me better today
Than I was before
And now my heart can rest and I will search no more
Cuz you made me better today, than I was before
And now my heart can rest
And I will search no more
You made me better today
Today...
Made me better today.

I love you baby.



PS. Baby, I will always be committed to this love that binds us, to walk each moment with you and to me, you are my everything; my world and everything there is in it. I love you.

Sweet sweet baby

This is it, life will never be better, or sweeter than this.

~ Keanu Reeves, Sweet November



They say that the best things comes in threes.

Hello lion! I love you.

It's that simple. It's that beautiful. Baby, you're perfect to me.

I am here today to write you a story. It's not grand or built with the most grandiose of words or the most magical of storylines. But it's a story from the heart. I write this to you, for you and in a funny way, this story is by you.

It was far away tucked under the stars in the land named Sunrise. It was a land perfectly similar to our own except for the fact that there lived animals that could talk and had an attitude like Disney. It was in this same land that there lived a lion and a lamb and they had attitude. Not one of their neighbours knew where they came from or who they were. For they mostly kept to themselves and hardly drew any notice. Except for the occasional kicking and biting, nothing was amiss or peculiar.

In the land of Sunrise, all creatures lived in harmony with each other, man and beast alike, each respecting their own boundaries and carrying on with their daily affairs. The land of Sunrise was ruled by a Fairy God Mother who did nothing else but visited the dwellers of Sunrise to terrorise and torment them with various tasks and challenges simply for fun. Delighting in poking fun and introducing a bit of fun in everyday lives, she would pop by to surprise each passing by Sunriser or simply knocking on random doors to pull a prank.

It was one day when she chanced upon the home of our hero and heroine of our story, the lion and the lamb. Feeling up to her own naughty self, she knocked on the door. Once, to be met with silence. Second to, "We don't want to see other humans!" to the third of, "If you keep knocking, we'll welcome you with a broom or a hoof or a claw!!!". Simply more excited with the chance to display her naughtiness, the Fairy God Mother took a huff and a puff and blew the door down. Snarling her teeth, the lion dared her to step in. Meekly hiding behind the table, the lamb waved a bat in a show of might at which the Fairy God Mother simply waltzed into the house.

Ignoring the snapping teeth of the lion, the Fairy God Mother swished her wand and voila! the lion was swept up in a bubble floating in mid air. Chuckling at a mischief well managed, she turned then to the lamb flashing her ever haughty grin. "Well then, little lamb. Let's play a game shall we?" She twinkled her eyes while holding her hands together in anticipation.

The lamb now crouching under the lamb desk, was shivering from head to toe and bleated, "The only game we're playing is you packing up and leaving!" and before the chuckle could begin, he managed to add, "And you turn lion back you stupid beast!".

"Hmmm...quite a feisty one this lamb despite being so frail and weak. Wonder what this lion sees in him. Makes me wonder. You don't have a choice. Play my game, answer me three questions and I'll set things back to the way it was", shrieked the Fairy God Mother.

"OK. I...I.....I'll play! You...you..you WITCHHHHHH!!!!" he stammered.

"Witch you say. Fine then. Call me what you will. Now that that's settled," she gently lifted herself over to the dark corner of the room breathing smoke and fire as she towered over the still cowering lamb.

The lamb meekly peeked out of the corner and dashed to try to reach out to the bubble filled lion, trying to claw open the shield with his hoofs.

"Tst...Tst...Tst...being naughty are we?" she sneered. And again the wand swished as the lamb began to float upside down and continued to struggle in mid air.

"Allright. Let us begin you little creature. This definitely is going to be exciting," she laughed as the scene shifted from the cottage in the meadows to all of them floating above the fiery depths of what looked dreadfully like a volcano. "Oh, I forgot to mention...if you fail, both of you fall. Right down to the fire and more frightening depths below"

Sneering at the still desperately struggling lamb, the Fairy God Mother asked this, "What is love? Tell me you little thing!!" She cackled.

The lamb sweating profusely from fear and from everything, squeezed his eyes and shouted loud, "Love is when lion first held my hand and kissed me after she drank a whole bottle of wine, love is when we danced under two suns, love is when she is becoming someone better for me but most of all, love is when she is simply doing all the boring stuff and living this life she has with me despite all my weaknesses and who I am!!!"

Silence filled the fiery chamber. The witch said, "Love is when you know you're in love and it will last...how true. You silly little lamb."

Swishing her wand again, they now appeared in the clouds. "Tell me this, little lamb," she muttered. "What is the secret of happiness?"

The lamb clinging on shifting clouds for dear life, again replied, "Happiness is to look in lion's eyes as we grow old and see what I think I look like...me".

Silenced, the witch again said, "Most would have answered being contented is to be happy. But your contentment lies in always believing and knowing that your lion will always see you as you are, and loving you for what you are. Isn't that trusting too much on a lion who you never know when will change?"

"That is love. To believe in faith...That is love..to believe when there is no reason to believe..past logic..past reason...because you do not need logic or reason to love...you only need to..to love...", the lamb cried continuing to cling onto floating clouds.

Sighing again, the witch waved her wand.

They appeared now in the meadows. "Tell me this little lamb. What is the most precious thing to you?"

"Lion.." he bleated.

"Then if I take your life, so that she may live. Is that fine?"

"No!!!!"

"Then you're afraid to die? Your life means more than hers?"

"NOOO!!!! You do not understand. I can not leave her alone. She made me promise to go after her. There is nothing more sad than to watch the most precious thing in the world pass you by. That is a promise to always make her happy. That is why I must live everyday!!!!" the lamb gritted his teeth.

"You can take away everything but love is all that we need to remain. Food fades, time fades, death comes. True love can only be delayed a bit but never vanquished. That is life and the truth of living. We live because of love, because of passion, because we want to live. I want to live..I want to love...and I want to be complete!"

The witch nodded. "Truly, you understand what it takes to live but how you live depends on you.."

She swished her wand and they both appeared again in the cottage and the Fairy God Mother was no longer there.

"Live well, Live Happy, Live with Love" came the whisper as the breeze blew by.

No one knew what happened to the lion and the lamb or the witch but this much do I know. You came into my life to teach me to love with all my heart, all my strength and all my might. You came to show me how wonderful life is when you're in the world. Today, I write this because of you, from you that life is love and love is life. And to be able not only to write this down but to smile when I see it everyday of my life, that is the miracle. That is the joy of a pen dancing on paper, of fingers gliding on the key board, typing a message for you baby. So that when I'm done, I can whisper those same words to you, "You've got blogpost.." To write down that you are the sweetest thing these eyes will ever see. That you are the most important thing, person and event and moment to have happened to me.

I say the same things in nearly every single post of how much you mean to me. And the truth is that you matter the same to me, which is everything. You matter everything to me, my world, my life and my love. I love you baby and hope this story paints you a smile that will carry us through the steps to our wedding and beyond. Can you hear that bell? That's just me ringing my love for you...everyday of our lives.

PS. Bie, if only you could see what I see in you...my sweet sweet baby....

What Do I See?

I just think life is more than a series of moments, you know, we can make choices, and we can choose to protect the people we love, and that's what makes us who we are and those are the real memories

~ Forces of Nature



Today when we're busily swept away by the mundane stuff like work, going through the motions, just trying to make it to the end of the day, it's a happy thought that we're holding hands moving through it all. Today, as we step another step towards the DAY, it's easy to also get swept away with all the mundane stuff, but again I am here, writing this down, that we are here to savour and enjoy this moment. All these small details can drain so much from us but the reality is that we only live to see this once, and what I see is beautiful....because of you.

Was dreaming this weird dream of falling lately and I blame it on you for always telling me to let my weight go and just let it all rest. The same way I blame you for letting me depend so much of my life on you, from all the small details to the big ones that matter. I know for sure that as much as you will depend on me, I too lean and depend on you. Falling for each other that way, only means us needing each other all that more and that perhaps is what falling in love every single day of our lives mean.

When people ask me what do I see around me for inspiration, I find that a difficult question to answer. I like to think that the answer would be simpler, and just say it's you. But when I close my eyes, and look around me, what used to the same dull colour is not the same as it is today. When I close my eyes, no, I do not see beauty alone. But I see things around me for what it is, and that makes what I have and see all the more beautiful. Because I have you. I have you to understand how beautiful the things I have, how colourful the simple day to day things can become. And I begin to realise how much more beautiful life is when you're in the world. And because of that, you are beautiful to me, more than you can ever know.

People often say that a wedding is supposed to be a momentous event of gargantuan impact on lives. Maybe they have it wrong. That the most impactful moment in mine, was when you turned and stared at me, then this most beautiful smile that God could have painted starts to take shape, and this music suddenly rings, Lathika's theme humming into a gentle breeze. And I see you. And from that moment, I realised this. That perhaps you were meant to be there. Waiting for me. And I also knew that there would be no other woman I would see at the altar before God and man. It's these simple moments that stay with you. That makes us choose how we want to spend the rest of our lives.

This kind of surety comes only once in a lifetime. And maybe you didn't see it as I did. But these are the sights my brain can not forget or hope to replicate. I know I'm an academician and a student of things. I observe, I calculate and I learn. But like John Nash and this blog, the only equation that best represents logic...is you. You complete me, my logic and my life. So let the small details float by, let love lead and let my hand hold yours. This I promise you, that every moment that matters will be shared with you. So enjoy this moment with me, laugh with me, cry with me and live life with me.

PS. Why another post? Simply because I love you and today is beautiful because you are beautiful to me...the most beautiful person...thing...moment of my life.

Today and always, you are all I see..

If I could measure the beauty of her eyes, I was born to look into them and know myself.

~ Shakespeare In Love



How come you don't write anymore?

It's not I don't write anymore. I write for you. These same words everyday. From the moment I wake up to the last second I stay awake. I love you. And you matter more to me with each passing day. Through every happy smile I find, to each tantrum you throw, to the small things that may not be important enough to others to notice, you mean the world to me.

Stepping up to the biggest day of our lives, just looking at us now, I can't help but smile at just how much more we have to look forward to. Baby, I want to write this down today. That in the middle of the beginning of our greatest adventure, that we need to savour each moment and not let things sweep us away. I hope we both enjoy this process moving forward. Each trial, each new challenge that comes our way is an invitation to both of us to make it beautiful. That each milestone in our wedding to come, is a personal victory that we will look back and cherish. So let us enjoy these moments that will take our breathe away.

There is an old chinese saying that the journey is worth more than the end, and I think it is so with life. That our marriage is that first step for us and just getting there is our story of love. When you get tired or can't sleep at night just thinking about all the small details in making our wedding day perfect, always know that I am here right next to you and this is our journey, our story that we are writing.

Today, I woke up and smiled to see the day beginning with you like every other day. And like every other day, I smile because of you. And I want you to know that behind your every smile too like this picture of us, I am right behind you. Right here to paint you smiles, to be here, just here for you. We're so near to the start of the greatest flagoff of our lives and the start of our adventure of a lifetime. I hope you have your seatbelts buckled for this instead of worrying over the minor details. Because this is all about us. Do not worry too much about what people think about the wedding because you have to believe in TGIF.

I know I may seem like a duck screwed up trying to dance but each step I learn with you is this same experience that we go through and see each day. I may not be perfect but for you, I want to be as good a man as I can get, the best I can be, the one that you will fall in love with for a lifetime. For each misstep I make that makes you smile, truly, my heart is in your hands and I'm trying as challenged as I may be. Cherish today with me and let us embrace these challenges as that one more step to painting our happy ending. Today, we are here, in this moment, and my hand is right here. Holding yours. Walking with you another day, this lifetime, and baby, you are all I see.

PS. Today and always, every step we take, you are perfect in my eyes.