nitemares go away but i am here to stay

“You are what I never knew I always wanted”

~ Fools Rush In



Lion had a nightmare today and it woke her up crying. Definitely not the best way to wake up to a day. And she's been having these weird nightmares recently. All I hope is that day by day by loving her more, all these dreams will be just dreams that fade away with time. It's okay to be afraid and nervous about a relationship and it's okay to have nightmares. Because its the responsibility of a lamb to make a lion feel secure and safe every moment each day.

So I am writing this note. Not to comfort because only love comforts. And only when I have loved enough can trust be earned. There is nothing to complain about but there is a lot to care about. Today is beautiful. I know you did not wake up to something beautiful today but I am going to make it beautiful for us. Dreams will fade but I am here to stay. I am here baby. Like always for you, for us. Today, the sun is shining again because today you came back after two days and today I will paint you this smile that will warm your heart.

It started with a note, it follows with a blogpost and it will continue with all these things that I want you to see. So what is it that I want you to see today baby? I want you to see how much a lamb will make you happy. I want you to see how much joy you bring to me and how important you are to me today. But most importantly, baby, I want you to see this love that we share. I do not promise that maybe tonight the nightmares will not come back but I promise I will be here to keep you warm if they choose to return. I will be here to chase them away and I will be here to paint you smiles.

Nightmare comes from an Old English word, maere which means 'goblin, incubus.' The term nigt-mare began in 1300, and it referred to an evil female spirit afflicting sleepers with a feeling of suffocation. To Red Indians, it is a sign of the spirits that talked to them and to ancient Egyptians, these dreams were warnings from the world of the dead. Psychologists believed that nightmares are what we are most afraid of. Baby, there is this story about nightmares and how they began.

There is this tale shared among ancient tribes of neighboring Maya that speaks of dreams and nightmares. They say that in the beginning, man did not need sleep and they were free to wander the earth walking among the gods. And those were peaceful times with no darkness. There was this goblin god who was mischievous and was envious of the happiness around. So the goblin god made a pact with the imps of the underworld to unleash darkness to the world. Carefully, they broke apart the gates of Charath, the underworld and darkness was unleashed to the world. The breaking of the gates tore the world apart

The gods and men shocked by the sudden darkness were in despair and within the darkness, the imps wrecked utter havoc. Many lost their minds in fright at the sight of these imps. The gods anxious to protect man, drew over a cloud that made them sleep so that the imps could not drive them mad. One by one they cast the imps back to the underworld. Some of the imps hid and invaded the dreams of man in revenge, appearing in all forms and shapes to terrify man. But sleep protected them as the gods rooted them out. They say until today they are still some lingering and some still escape the broken gates but each are hunted down and taken away by the gods.

Bie, I am no god but I am here to protect you from any eventuality of any nightmare. I am here to say that I will always be around and that there is nothing to fear. I know it's easier to say than to do, but today is beautiful and today I am going to make you smile. Watch me gallop those nightmares away baby. And if those naughty imps dare appear in your sleep, rest assured that although I am no knight, but I am here to fight for our happiness and I am here to bring that smile back to where it belongs. Love you baby.



If these imps appear in your nightmare baby, lamb is here to kick their butt!!!

PS. Baby, I am here waiting to see you and today really is beautiful. Nightmare or not, lamb is here. I will always be here so have no fear, let me see that smile.

the only Storm is not having u here with me

Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide, but I love you, until the end of time.

~ Moulin Rogue



Woke up today and there was this feeling of emptiness. Sometimes I get confused on how do I write for you, whether do I address you as her, or lion or as you. But today I am clear on this; I miss you so so much and my heart tells me that everything seems meaningless without you. YOU, YOU, YOU are this enormous thing that has gone empty today. I woke up to a missing person by my side and no warmth in the sheets. I woke up to this empty feeling because the biggest part of me is going away today.

It doesn't hurt but it feels so meaningless without you today baby. I told you whenever I can that everytime you go away, it does not get any easier, I miss you all the more. I know yes it's ridiculous because you're only gone for two days. But to me that's two entire days without you. I don't need you to see a familiar face or to feel warmth although you do all that to me, I need you and I miss you because you are every single meaning in my life and I am lost without you. Today I rushed to the airport but was still slightly late. Yes it's disappointing but nothing to be sad of baby as I know I'm on your mind. Did you know you never left mine too?

Today is the first day and the first night that you are away is always the toughest. Baby, I want to write this story so that maybe it can warm your night. Now, far away in this land there was this lamb who galloped hard into the day everyday wanting to write the loveliest fables and stories that the land could provide. He galloped far and wide, looking and searching high and low for that one story that would make his everyday. He wrote about the stars, the seas and sand, the green trees in meadows. Stories that would make people read in awe and inspiring. But these were not the stories that he wished to write. Not the stories that would remain.

He rode high and hard, long into the meadows and out from forests. Looking in vain he rested among the bushes. Wistfully humming a hymm as clouds drifted above. Little did the lamb know that ever since coming out of the forests was he watched as he lay in the bushes. Creeping ever so silently, the claws of the eyes that watched reached out and held the lamb in place. Aghast that a lion was before him, the lamb cried out in fear and fright only to have the lion placate and instruct the lamb to follow. And follow the lamb did, past Gardens in walks, meals in front of candles, dances under the stars and into the depths of the sea; past skies with birds and even to islands of great beauty.

And in that instant of most despair and when the lion was at her most ugly, the lamb came forth with a ring saying that this was the story that he had been chasing. The one chapter that he would always write, the ending that only his eyes would see. The lion cried with joy and they danced into the night. Now there was a time when the lion was summoned away and the lamb had to stay. There was a long silence into the night as the lamb promised to wait and write their tale. So he wrote a letter that spoke such,

"We are different in some ways and yet similar in so many. The sky is shining when I write this but there is no sun when you left with my heart. There is no sun not because my world is not bright anymore but because it shines for you where you go. It does not mean that you take my meaning away when you go but the truth is that you are my meaning and when you go, you take that part of me with you. So in all truth, it's far from me losing my meaning. it's simply my meaning is you. Although I am here, in all reality, I am with you. So I am here waiting for you. For us. Because without you, there is no me. I am a lamb but I am a lamb that will make you fall in love with me a lifetime. I know this because no lamb lets his happily ever after get away not even for a day. To this lamb, there is no other story worth writing, worth living than ours. I love you."

No one knows the ending of the lion and the lamb but I think there is no ending because there's this list and we have so much to do. The world is waiting. I am waiting. I love you baby. I am here for you. I write this for you and I am missing you so so much. Today is beautiful baby because of you. Imagine how perfect it would be if you were here with me.

PS. Bie, I love you. Enough said.