HAZARDOUS MATERIALS
INFORMATION SYSTEM
MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET
WOMAN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS
ELEMENT, WOMAN
SYMBOL, Wo2
ATOMIC MASS, Accepted as 125 Lbs. But known to wary from 100 to 500 Lbs.
OCCURRENCE: Copious quantities in all urban areas
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Surface usually covered with a painted film
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason
3. Melts if given special treatment
4. Bitter if incorrectly used
5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore
6. Yields to pressure if applied to correct points
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Has a great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation in
alcohol
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man
COMMON USES
1. Highly ornamental especially in sports cars
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation
3. Very effective cleaning agent
TESTS
1. Pure specimen turns rosy when discover in the natural state
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen
HAZARDS
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2. Illegal to possess more than one
Received this about a general 'scientific' study of woman and its just funny how Evil Janet defies most of everything on this list. They say that the most important things in life are not things. I would like to attempt to 'quantify' and describe perfection if thats even possible.
HAZARDOUS MATERIALS
INFORMATION SYSTEM
MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET
EVIL JANET - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS
ELEMENT, WOMAN
SYMBOL, FyY
ATOMIC MASS, Accepted as 55 kg. But known to wary from 50 to 55 kg.
OCCURRENCE: Only one in nine billion
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. The most beautiful and perfect gem man will ever find
2. As tall as an elf and intimidates hobbits
3. Melts if given kisses and constant tender loving care
4. Bitter if incorrectly used and neglected
5. Found only in the hearts of man who will put her as number one always
6. Has hands that can warm ice and melt hearts
7. Smile has been known to destroy hearts of mortals and captivate hobbits for lifetimes
8. Fits into any clothing material and enhances the value of perfection
9. Gentle like the wind, dances like a queen and cooks a feast worthy of a king
10. Shines light on any who looks upon Evil Janet and blinds with love
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Has a great affinity for love
2. Absorbs great quantities of love and manja-ing
3. May explode spontaneously if pissed off and launches foul language storm
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation in
alcohol
5. Most powerful romance inducing agent known to a hobbit
6. Deviously delightful and reactive when placed in an enjoyable and comfortable environment and great fun to mesh with
COMMON USES
1. To complete the circle of life of a hobbit
2. Can be a great aid to fulfilling every dream of a hobbit
3. The only reason for living of a hobbit
TESTS
1. Melts a hobbit's heart with each smile
2. The only reason why a hobbit exists
3. When places next to a hobbit, the hobbit's heart melts
HAZARDS
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2. Illegal to possess more than one
3. Will enslave hobbits for a lifetime. Risk touching and seeing at hobbit's own risk
Todays another day stuck in between. Neither here nor there. The only difference this week is that it is impossible to get lost unless it is in her eyes today. Yes, just her being around calms the silly boy with the name tag thewrecktan. If theres a message to be said or typed today, its this: you will always be my number one. No matter big or small will make me love you less. Nothing will drift us apart and nothing will come in our way until we have seen a lifetime together. You have captured my heart with you being you and there is nothing more special than two people loving each other for who they are.
There are many more bumps along the road, but hold my hand and never not believe that we will go all the way. I am here for you like you are always here for me so stand with me. You came to find me and I came to find you too. We both want this and nothing more is true. I think everyday will be special because of you. There is always something to worry or think about, so in that space think about me always smiling for you.
She came by yesterday saying that she could not sleep because she was worried when she did not see me. My heart skipped a few notes when she walked to my door last night. Barely a few hours after I was last enchanted by her eyes, there she was standing in front of me telling me that she missed me. Craddling her in my arms, shes the sweetest thing that man has ever invented (thank you EJ's dad and mom of course!). Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. My ending is you.
PS. Bie, to describe you is to attempt to describe perfection. You are my perfect reason for smiling today, tomorrow, and for a lifetime.
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