~ Runaway Bride
Its Thursday. My posts have been a running commentary countdown of days of the week starting from the day she left. Its like I need to constantly remind myself on the day she will be back. The fact is that I only have to wait for one more day. Sounds simple but like she said, its easy to get tired from missing her so so much. She said she has diabetes from all the sweet nothings I whisper and type for her. If yes, then who is going to pay for all the medical fees when she melts my heart just by smiling everytime?
It feels so warm waiting for her and I remember fondly the times that feels so good which I have often described as lying in between sheets on a cold rainy day. Feeling the warm sheets in between the rain, I actually answered a phone call from my mom once and found it hard to concentrate even then. The sheets were so fine and warm with the storm just outside peeking in. You can basically sleep in any position under the sheets and still feel comfortable and warm. Its that mind blowing an experience that you feel so comfortable and right that the world disappears and the thought of her is all that matters. That moment with her. Feels a bit unfair comparing the feeling of waiting for the most important person in my life to hiding in between sheets on a cold day but its true. She warms my heart with her every touch and when she responds to me calling her and when she smiles back, my mind gets lost and my heart races like no other.
Some days when I'm happy, I feel like having a bit of milk in bed. Doesn't matter if its hot or cold. Dribbling it down my tounge, it feels nice and warm under those sheets. Guess its one of the luxuries in life to stay in bed and do nothing or just a little and let the world have its own way outside. Its very contenting to just watch as you lie in bed and the time goes by. The clock chimes to tell you how much time you've been 'wasting' but its okay because everything feels so good. Her eyes are so beautiful and always tells stories. I remember looking at them all the time just closing my eyes in those sheets and they tell me so much. When her hands touches mine and we just embrace the moment, nothing feels more right. The thrust or essence of the moment is that I'm all that matters to her and shes all that matters to me which is so beautiful.
Its very easy to get lost in her eyes, trust me on that one. Just one more day and admitedly its been rough at times. Woke up this morning, thinking about her with liquid drooling everywhere. Realised I was sick (hopefully love sick did not cause that) and had to call in the office. Sitting here typing this and finishing my work from home, I can't help but let my mind wander and find her more times than I would normally allow. The perfect piece of the missing jigsaw puzzle of my life, thats what she is. Need to go have a shower and bend over the sink. Time to freshen up and see the day. Nothing is more perfect than to start with her and just imagine her warmth all over me.
Life is or should I put it pieces of experiences, events and of course emotions that drift us by. She happens to be the center of mine. A huge part of it actually. I wish I had a clone, a mini Derek sort of that could accompany her and keep her warm now when shes sad and feeling alone. That way, I wouldn't be separated, but to think of it, which Derek would it be then with her? I amuse myself sometimes thinking these silly thoughts. Which she often finds cute and childish which leads to her calling me boy like my mom. Oh, she has other names for me as well, wish I will be her everything for a lifetime, sort of like her god, which is bad and selfish but good to me. I feel I'm getting more delusional as the moment she comes back approaches. Miss her so so much. There are three constants or sure fire things in this world, the sun rises from the east, she is the center of my universe and we will love each other for a lifetime.
Just one more day and I'm already counting the seconds. Just one more.
PS. Bie, you are my warmth in the coldest hour, my meaning on the most boring of days, my love of my lifetime. You are simply you. My everything.
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