"OK. I'll get you something"
"No. Not that hungry..."
Now everyday, we always ask ourselves if we made the right decision or wrong ones that we regret. I used to do that everyday to see if I did everything right and to avoid the wrongs that happened. In fact everyone does. I guess its because I believe that as people we feel the need to constantly improve and get better each day by making lesser mistakes and continue to impress in the work that we do. Now thats normal and also perfectly what everyone thinks everyday. But is it the right way?
Coming back from Perth, had some time to rethink what it is I'm doing and what it is that I want to achieve in the long run. Been 'thinking' less and doing more feeling. Immersing myself in my job and my life more now instead of just thinking it through. In fact the last month has been just that. I'm thinking lesser and living each second as it comes. Carpe Diem, seize the day. I liked that phrase but never really lived it. Its easy to fall in love with the idea and the novelty to just embrace life as it goes by each second. Its simplier and safer to just go throught the motions and routine each day.
Its like the movie, "As Good As it Gets". The film starring Jack Nicholson, for those who have seen it, is about the story of an obsessive-compulsive, misanthropic, and bigoted romantic novelist named Melvin Udall, and how his personality softens and changes. Melvin is a man obsessed with order. He sits at the same table at the same restaurant and insists on the same routine everyday. He feels for a waitress, Carol and they have an odd relationship going with ups and downs due to the routines. In one scene at the end, Carol resignedly telling Melvin it won't work because "all you do is make me feel bad about myself." In unfamiliar territory, Melvin struggles to compliment Carol. He goes on to say that she represents everything that is good and right in the world, the balance he needs to deal with his disorder, and life in general.
Melvin Udall: I might be the only person on the face of the earth that knows you're the greatest woman on earth. I might be the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing that you do, and how you are with Spencer, "Spence," and in every single thought that you have, and how you say what you mean, and how you almost always mean something that's all about being straight and good. I think most people miss that about you, and I watch them, wondering how they can watch you bring their food, and clear their tables and never get that they just met the greatest woman alive. And the fact that I get it makes me feel good, about me.
I'm learning to let go more now and think more differently. Theres a fine line between carefee and to enjoy life. Deviate too much and you end up being a slob thats a gluttony for life. Do it right and you will see the most beautiful sights and experience things you never knew existed everyday. You want to do your best but not worry too much about the outcome because tomorrow comes anyway. The result as many people have said is not as important as the journey. Because life is a never ending road and every result is merely a milestone that fades tomorrow. Being in a relationship or to wake up everyday is similar. I've learnt that you do not make milestones, you learn to live everyday and when I wake up, I think what else can I do today to show how I think and I feel.
Living each day is full of rights and wrongs but how do you know which is right and which is wrong. Its like that old stories, there was this young guy that got injured and it was wrong because he was supposed to get married. But then there was a war so he escaped, that made it right. I think its important to understand that there is no actual right and wrong. You just live life and make decisions based on your heart. You live life the way you want to. Surely, the immediate consequences might or might not be seen but I believe its more important to live life the way you want it to be. Spend less time thinking and more time living. Even then, I feel I don't have enough time for living. I want to do so much but I can't for now.
Its really quite simple actually. The key is to know what you want. I wake up everyday convinced I know what I want and somehow the how to do it comes to me. I just don't think anymore and do. Have you decided what you want?
PS. Baby, I know what i want. bring something like the pic you thought i didint save.
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