Waiting for you...

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."



Today, you walked out without a word. Can't decide if it was your tears in silence or you not wanting to talk to me that hurt more. I do not think you are not hurting but I am here. Waiting. I am here to make things right, to put a smile on your face and to let you know no matter what I love you more and more with each day. I know it's raining on you and your heart is a bit lonely now. But you are never alone and I am always with you.

Rain or shine. Today, was supposed to be beautiful so come back and make things beautiful together. I miss you so much since you stepped out and never said a thing. I know it takes two so here I am waiting until two becomes one. I wish I could tell you a story but our story is more than beautiful enough. Come back to make things right and I promise to be here with my hand waiting for yours. I know that there is a lot of hurt in your heart but its the same here. And I'm just waiting for us to be whole again.

Waiting is never good enough. But I'm not going anywhere. Ever. Baby, I love you and I know you love me too. This much is true and past all the rain and shine, this much will always remain true. Maybe I did chase you away, but I want it to be right. And the only thing right is for you to be here. Here where you belong. I do not know how to paint you smiles alone right here right now but love will find a way. I will find a way. I miss you baby and if you're reading this, I want you to know I will do anything to have you back smiling and just making life beautiful.

Writing this, it has been gloomy and I don't feel too well. Nothing seems right and everything that can go wrong when someone is sad will usually go wrong. I miss you bie. I'm here waiting for a smile, that most beautiful smile in the world. We have roots so deep that being away from you hurts so bad. I realise today writing this that somehow I feel that for you, that somehow it's more than being in love but love for you that has taken root too deep. So if somehow, you read this, I miss you and I want to make things beautiful for us. Love you baby.

PS. Come back with your smile to turn off the rain showers, come back to make all things true and right, come back because of love, because of us.

this thing called monday

Kat Ellis: You know what pisses me off? I've been spilling my guts all weekend and I don't know a thing about you.
Nick Mercer: [pause] I'm allergic to fabric softener. I majored in comparative literature at Brown. I hate anchovies. And I think I'd miss you even if we never met.

~ The Wedding Date



She said I'm sexy. I like to think that as long as it's real to her, I'm a happy man/hobbit. For seriously, my looks don't cut it and my moves are as awkward as a lamb being hunted down by a lion and if somehow in all my limitations and imperfections I can paint her a smile, I will always be happy. Today it's the start of another week and it's called Monday. Since everything that blew by us last week, I have started seeing things in a different light. It's not to say that I have loved her less but rather I have figured out ways to love her so that she's comfortable.

The weeks ahead will be hectic and I don't think we will see each other much. What matters is how to treasure and made these short moments, moments to be cherished. We will both miss each other more I hope during this hectic period so that when we meet each second becomes all the more precious. Hoping to get away from all the everyday noise and just be at peace. That's why the weekends are never enough. We never get enough of peace and just being in the moment with the people who matter to us.

I'm going to start each day just thinking of doing the important and right things. Be it with her, at work or at home. We have a DL list and I believe in that list. I believe that these are the things that really matter and things that I want to make my life complete. But these are just things. It's always her that make these things important. So I will live my life with this in mind, of the important things and her obviously. Just taking it one day a time. Maybe, just maybe like Nick Mercer, I think I will miss her even if I never met her.

PS. Bie, we'll walk each day and we will find joy in love. Love comes in all forms but mine to you, it comes from everything you. It's always about you. Because everything I need and everything I want is in you. You are all my reasons.

silly lamb sick lion

Bella Swan: I'm not afraid of you, I'm only afraid of losing you. I feel like you're gonna disappear.
Edward Cullen: You don't know how long I've waited for you. And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.
Bella Swan: What a stupid lamb.
Edward Cullen: What a sick, masochistic lion.

~ Twilight




Feeling really sleepy right now. Eyes barely being able to open. It's only a Tuesday but I'm already hoping that the weekend is here. Not so that I can see her more. Although there is some truth that I do want to spend more quality time with her, just being with her. But more so because I really want time to love her. Been really busy and have not been able to jot more for her each day. I really love you bie.

It must be stated that she likes Twilight, almost bordering on being in love with the movie and the book before I met her. And somehow, I ended up watching the same movie too. It's not really the movie, it was the time we spent enjoying the company of each other. That's really important, although I did enjoy it too :) the most important things are hard to explain, that's why it's called love.

Today, my baby's going to a photoshoot and I know she's going to look wonderful tonight. I don't need her to be wonderful though tonight, I need her to be rested and I need her to be safe in her sheets until morning. I wish I could always be her shoulder when she needs to lean on, that's why when I know she needs me now, I stand by her side as much as I can. I know she does not think stuff like this is important and maybe it will not touch her so much. But all that does not matter, what matters is, what do I do, what do we do with the time given to us. Even when I know she can't spend much time with me, I just want to be right here for her. That's the least I can do for her.

Baby, every second even when you're not physically present, I know you are near. I hope you feel the same too because my hand is always here waiting to hold yours. Smile for me baby, you're wonderful tonight.

PS. Bie, I love you. And if you ever need me, I'm right here for you.

you've got lamb

Baby Lion: What will Hobbit say today, I wonder. I turn on my computer. I wait impatiently as it connects. I go online, and my breath catches in my chest until I hear three little words: You've got blog. I hear nothing. Not even a sound, just the beating of my own heart. I have love. From you.

~ You've Got Lamb, 2009



Monday. Typing this all I'm saying in my mind is I love you. It's not only now that I'm saying it. But typing it out, you and the whole world knows this, that at this moment and right here right now, like always, only you matter. That just thinking of it, I hear my heart beat. And I listen to it speak. It calls your name. I love you baby. It's the start of the week, we got up late, watched as you drove with sleepy eyes and I was there pretending to sleep constantly looking at you.

And until this moment, all I can think about is you. I was hoping like You've Got Mail, in today's movie of You've Got Lamb, you are bored and you go online and you see this simple post. I know it's not much and it seems unimportant. But this is the most important thing that I will write today. And the wonder of it all is that the most important line is this sentence; I love you baby. I love you and that's all that matters.

Today's another day, the start of another week. Hold my hand baby. We'll going to paint each day beautiful. I'm going to step into another meeting in minutes but you have never left my mind. I have missed you since lunch and will continue to miss you after until I see you again. I know it's simple but it's all this simple heart has to say. And baby, you've got lamb.

PS. Bie, I cherish today and treasure you for being here every moment. You are beautiful baby. Love you.

Monday Sci-Fi fever

Find someone who you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back.
You have to try, because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived.

~ Meet Joe Black



This morning her phone woke me up to the start of a new week. Opened my eyes to an angel still lost in her dreams. How beautiful she is I thought, actually I've been always guilty of this same thought to the extent that its now a daily crime I can't seem to get rid off. Today besides waking up to her and perfection, I also woke up to a sci-fi reality which is simply another exciting way to kick start the week. It seems that planet earth is not enough to contain our love that we have to venture to outer space. Today, am writing a bit of sci-fi for the amusement of her on the first day of the week. Just want her to smile in the midst of all these distractions and noises around us. Most importantly, baby, I love you.

Year 0717 Intergalactic Space Coordinates 1010 of the Galaxy of Putraheightenon

Diaries From the Unkown

The 'morning collectors of light' spacecrafts have been toiling for 18 hours straight to harvest energy sources. It has been 1,000 years since mankind abandoned planet earth to its doomed fate to roam the galaxy in search of light sources and energy to continue their existence. Having stumbled upon their latest discovery in the Galaxy of Putraheightenon, they have settled here the longest since the days of roaming outer space. The human harvesters have been doubling their efforts to harvest enough energy for storage in the last few months since rumours of sightings of alien species were reported by advanced scouts. Fearing the worse that they could no longer dwell with their new found treasure for any longer, they had to work harder to ensure sufficient energy was harvested.



Today, however, was a day that would change their lives forever. For today, they will come to discover that they were not alone. That the rumours they had heard were true, that man was not alone in the universe. This is an intergalactic tale of the momentous event that will live to change the fates of those to come and the future generations of space inhabitants forever. Nothing could have prepared them for the events that will transpire and the cards that fate had in store for the two races.



It was during approximately the watch of the tenth regiment of human harvesters that 'they' appeared. It was so quiet and serene and nothing registered on any of the scout's radars and they appeared silently out of the blue. Roaming the human harvester main ship "Elf" from behind, the aliens made initial contact by trying to initiate contact via landing crafts from above. The humans mistook the friendly docking to be a signal of attack but being harvesters, had no means of defense. The aliens had difficulty aligning their technology to initiate communication and contact and had to resort to overpowering the escaping main ship. There was a brief chaos as the humans were undecided on contact with the foreign assumed invading vessel.



The aliens boarded the main shuttle, "Elf", with minimal resistance and via communicators were able to signal their intent of a mere initial exploration penetrative exercise aimed at just to establish contact with the humans. Relieved that their worst fears were over, the humans were indeed curious and excited over the 'discovery' of their new friends in outer space. For roaming the earth for 1,000 years, they always thought that they were alone and it was meant to be their destiny to float around the far reaches of the galaxies until the species met its end. For in the days to come, that day would build the foundation of exchanges of fluids of technology and greater sense of togetherness as they continued to co-exist in space.



That date will live in infamy in the annals of history of human race as their first encounter with the unknown and will influence the tides of history as we know it. How could things have been different were it not for the chance residual stay of the human race on the remote galaxy? What if they had not decided to explore that part of the galaxy for resources? And how different would destiny have been had the aliens remained concealed without making contact and remaining indifferent to the fate of the fledging human race? No one knows but the days of the galaxy ahead remain as intriguing as ever as they explore this new intergalactic relationship to the next level on a new chapter.

PS. Bie, I love you on every plane and material space and somehow its not enough so with outer space as witness, I will love you a lifetime. To infinity and beyond.

Tales from a day caught in between

Your heart is my school, so teach me the alphabet of love.

~ Anas Chabarek

Todays another Wednesday, another day caught in between. We're leaving tomorrow on another great big adventure. This is all after I was a complete ass to the most important person on the planet. We're making this happen and this story's for her. Shes stuck in a gloomy hotel right smack in the city center and her batteries dying. I want to tell her I miss her and love her so so much that I'm over it and that I'm going to make it happen. All I have is laptop, time to kill, some pictures and lotsa love for her, so hit it. This is my post from my heart today, I love you.



Once upon a time, like all good stories, this fairy tale took place in a far far away land. So ancient that people forgot this tale of how hope triumphed over the days of dark and despair. So far away that some of the mystical creatures we have only heard of and seen in storybooks, movies and youtube. And so special that the only surviving tale of this is living in the hearts of those that matter.



This tale took place in the meadows of happiness just beside the valley of sunrise. There in lived a fair maiden, Arwen. She was the most beautiful maiden that walked the land but she was not a princess per say or the same old conventional princesses of old that were perfect. This was because she was roaming the meadows with a broken heart. Not many knew or understood why each suitor or travelling prince passing by could not heal her heart. Many tried but none succeeded for not many met her eyes and not many knew what treasure she was.

So she spent her days with her dwarf friends (named donkey, spineless, hopeless, snicker, bully and kingkong), Disney princes and princess, and animal cretures that could talk to her. She had many a faithful friend but none rivalled her unicorn...



...Prince! Prince was a faithful companion that rode her through the days of rain and hid with her when the clouds were above. Prince has a coat that shined in the sun and sparkled in the rain. Prince shared her joy and her passing days as the bestest friend any fair maiden could ever ask for. Arwen lived a contented life but she never stopped looking for a cure for her broken heart. Many days and night passed but she never lost hope as she gazed longingly at the stars.



On a normal merry morning, the nearby kingdom of stupidity and curse-alot set out to convert the meadow of happiness with doom and gloom. The armies of the kingdom were fearsome beasts and many were taken away to be locked away in the dungeons miles beneath the castle of stupidity. Now, the meadows were also not spared as the kingdom envied the lasting happiness that never seemed to cease in the meadows. And the mythical creatures living in the meadows irritated...



...the rulers of the kingdom of stupidity and curse-alot, the dreaded King Evil and his evil accompanying halfling follower, Mini Bin. All was nearly lost as the armies and the evil king rode through the lands, enslaving anything that moved and eventually capturing the fair maiden. Prince put up a good and valiant fight as he stood by his master determined to stand by her side but was also taken. All the mythical creatures were in despair as they watched the fair maiden locked away in the highest tower of the stupidest tower of the kingdom. There was much sadness then in the meadow and everything that flowered withered.



All hope seemed lost for all, until a wandering ranger came by the doom and gloom. The lone ranger was also tired from the years of searching and travelling. Shocked by the vicious acts of the king and his armies, the lone ranger planned a daring attempt to take out the king and hopefully unite all the oppressed creatures for a final stand against the evilness. So in admist all the doom and gloom, Sir Screwup embarked on his daring plan. By pure luck and stupidity of the guards, he managed to sneak past into the highest tower hoping to find the king, only to find the Arwen sobbing between sheets. It was love at first sight and Sir Screwup somehow managed to piss off Arwen by his stupidity which caused quite a commotion. The guards were alerted and the evil king was raging to find the intruder that managed to get through the guards.



In a determination to prove to Arwen that he was the better man for Arwen had ignored him since the beginning, the king challenged Sir Screwup to a deul to the end. Obviously it was not a fair fight with Mini Bin biting away at the legs of Sir Screwup and holding him while the king punched away at him. Sir Screwup knew that he did not have many chances to get this right and stood up again, looked at Arwen and said, "Baby, sorry for screwing up earlier but we're doing this together!". Kicking Mini Bin off into the skies, the king and Sir Screwup fought tooth and nail, biting, clawing and punching themselves silly like pollar bears on an iceberg.

Sir Screwup tripped and Arwen gasped at what would surely be the end of Sir Screwup. As the king walked over to finish the dying hero, the earth quacked and groaned underneath. Seizing the moment, Sir Screwup pushed the king back into the fiery ends of the earth. The other mythical and fairy tale creatures seizing the moment, attacked the armies that imprisoned them and managed to get free.

Arwen in the midst of standing with Sir Screwup along the edges asked him, "How would I know that you won't screwup again like I know you would because its in your name?" Sir Screwup shouted in between the raging fires, "Because I will always love you. You for who you are. Just you. So stand with me now and after this, a lifetime. Hold my hand."

The maiden trusted her heart for the first time and aho, was made whole for so was the spell cast upon her that the first to break her rules will restore her heart. There was much rejoicing as the mythical creatures watched them until the end of their days, living out their happily ever after.



There is always a happy ending but it does not come into the laps of the hero and heroine from the sky just like that. There is much in between but baby, no matter what happens, we're going to see each day together. This story might not even be funny or heart warming or even good enough to win awards, but its for you and the only message I have for you is that I love you more and more with each passing day. You warm my heart, set my mind on fire and burn my life with passion. So hold my hand today like always and walk another day and before we know it a lifetime has passed us by.



PS. Bie, we write our happy ending in our tale. Our tale is not complete, the ink is never dry as we write and we might smear the pages with mistakes and other carelessness but hold my hand as we write till the end. I love you baby.

I'm here for you

John: Now don't take this the wrong way, but you are a Terminator, right?
Terminator: Yes. Cyberdyne Systems, Model 101.
John: [Pokes at one of Terminator's bullet wounds.] Holy shit! You're really real! I mean, you're like a machine underneath, right? But sort of alive outside?
Terminator: I'm a cybernetic organism. Living tissue over a metal endoskeleton.
John: This is intense. Get a grip, John. OK, uhm, you're not here to kill me. I figured that part out for myself. So what's the deal?
Terminator: My mission is to protect you.
John: Yeah? Who sent you?
Terminator: You did. Thirty-five years from now, you re-programmed me to be your protector here, in this time.

Okay, so what does Terminator have to do with my story today? To be honest, I do not really know but the Terminator character is one of the most reliable characters in the history of moviedom. Evil Janet is in an intense experience and I'm stuck here in Kuala Lumpur not being able to help her one single bit which is precisely like a stab in the heart. Its that feeling of helplessness that you are incapable of helping (made worse when she didin't have lunch). Was thinking of all that and the single word that came immediately to my mind, was Terminator.

Grew up wathcing this many times on video and felt that it was kinda cool to be able to protect the people that matter to you. Would watch and re-enact the really exciting scenes with my brother who would just tag along with whatever games I could come up wiht. We would repeat the lines and all that with our plastic guns. We took turns okay to be terminator so it was not just me.

Now, I'm nothing even remotely close to the real terminator with no real muscles and real strength. What I have is a will to protect you and make you happy every second of my life. Now, lets re-imagine the above dialogue again, like below:-



Evil Janet: Now don't take this the wrong way, but you are a Blogger, right?
Me: Yes. Luv U Systems, Model Blogger 101.
Evil Janet: [Pokes at my flabby tummy.] Holy shit! You're really real! I mean, you're like a machine underneath, right? But sort of alive outside?
Me: I'm a loving organism incapable of surviving without you and designed to love you. Living tissue over an empty heart which I believe is with you.
Evil Janet: This is intense. Get a grip, Janet. OK, uhm, you're not here to kill me. I figured that part out for myself. So what's the deal?
Terminator: My mission is to protect you.
John: Yeah? Who sent you?
Terminator: You did. Fifty years from now, you re-programmed me through love to be your protector here, in this time. And we're supposed to be holding hands everyday until we die and you should be smiling while we watch the sunrise and sunset. I was also programmed to spoil you and make you the luckiest girl on planet earth.

PS. Baby, love you. Know you're real super duper busy but my hand has never left yours and I'm here for you. Never be afraid or panic, I'm here for you...always.