training day

Was on the side of the agency after so many years. Feels rusty being at the forefront again for a turn. Wore long sleeves again after ages and the pants could barely hold in all that growing fat from the days in AirAsia. Lion said I looked fat, I think I look different. Am seeing things different now from the brash man who barged into everything with passion and maybe it's a sign of growth or it could be just a lesson in life. I still live by passion and I don't think it's learning from the past that keeps me in check. But maybe I've learned what it takes to make things successful.

Today had a glimpse of a client I will be working with for a long time to come. Like the ocean, it had it's ups and downs and like the ocean, the meeting held so much underneath the surface. So much potential yet at times the surface was murky with so many potential problems to come.

Felt a tinge of excitement at starting another social media project from ground up again and it admittedly is another challenge worth getting up to work for. Too often, I ask myself if I was on most days in AirAsia so swept away with complacency and finding excuses to let the passion drain away. I always thought it was passion that was too energy consuming that in time caused burn-out. But sitting in the meeting today, listening, looking at another team have a stab and a go at something I saw through my own eyes, I think it was more, no company offered a vision compelling enough for me to stay passionate.

Looking back, I realised how reckless it all seemed to kickstart the social media assets at AirAsia. But I know it was precisely because I was reckless and crazy enough that it succeeded. May that hunger and passion never die out.

Having a hand in my own career path like never before, I wonder if things this time might be different. So much excitement and the "ocean" beckons and calls. Everything seems right again. Can't wait for the passion to engulf and overcome me once I put on that shirt and pants again. Same pants, same shirt, all new day. Can't hardly wait. Wonder if the passion will last. The ocean calls. Here we go go go.

PS. Bie, have I told you that you're beautiful today. Thanks for waiting and thanks for being here at the start of a new chapter.

I love us too

Never knew I could feel like this,
like I've never seen the sky before.
Want to vanish inside your kiss
and I love you until the end of time.

~ Moulin Rouge



Today's post is simple. I love us too. I see special in everything we do too. And I never knew I could feel like this. To vanish in your kiss and to love you until the end of time. I woke up today and something was empty but today can't wait for summer to return. I have a date with spring :)

PS. Bie, have I told you today that you're beautiful? You're simply the most beautiful person my eyes have ever "seen" today

Today I'm not there

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.

~ Captain Corelli's Mandolin



Today I'm not by your side at the office like it used to be. But did you know that never did I ever leave you alone? I will never leave you alone baby.

Maybe like the story above, love is what happens when all feeling of being in love has passed. And what is left is this conviction, this belief of love. Love is the beauty of the soul and you are mine, my beauty and my soul. When we kiss, we feel the warmth because it is precisely at that moment when the souls meet. And after all the passion that fades away, you know precisely whether you have met love.

Because the love of that kind lasts. Today begins officially the new chapter of our lives. I don't have a name for this but what I know is that my hand is here waiting for you. I won't be seeing you today. But this blogpost, is an email from my heart. And my heart, my heart baby always beats for you.

Today we stand at start of another chapter, and somehow each page I turn is filled with beauty. You are the greatest beauty that I will ever discover. And the luckiest man is the one who finds that beauty in his life everyday. I know you think I'm lazy. Yes, I maybe be lazier than the past. But this much is true, that my love for you will never be lazy. My love I promise for you is eternal.

I know today my role is not the same but I have no pride and I always listen. Maybe my career path is not the same like when we first met but the truth is that I was meant to meet you and to love you. I always want you to know that nothing is wrong with professing all the love in the world for the woman you love and I love you. Nothing changes and I choose you and I will always love you this way. Today I woke up and it was all beautiful when I met your eyes :)You are my tree and we are one.

PS. Bie, today you're beautiful. I love you.

the only plan - is you

So, this is love... so, this is love. So, this is what makes life real good. I'm all aglow... and now I know, the key towards heaven is love....

~ Cinderella



West Side Story once quipped, "Only you, you're the only thing I'll see forever. In my eyes, in my words, and in everything I do." Some people say that their lives revolve around someone and everything they do is just for that person. And people call them foolish. I'll take foolish any day as long as that person I fall for is you.

When you are able to wake up to a moment of joy, that is happyness. But what if you are able to wake up to moments of joy everyday without you asking for it? That is more than a blessing and something that can easily be taken for granted. But more importantly, how much it can shape a day for someone as long as that moment holds so much relevance and importance.

That is the essence of love. To hold a moment to last a lifetime. It's easy as humans to forget. For us to let go of the great moments simply because it has passed us by. The problem with us humans is that the emotions do not linger and sometimes we forget how much it means to be able to taste it and live it. That is why I am reminded everyday when I open my eyes, that this warmth next to me is that same single warmth that will continue to light up my life. It's not because I have to remember that it becomes happyness.

But because this warm feeling inside, even after the warmth has passed away, that feeling of holding on and wanting it is strong. Because there is magic in love and for some it fades faster, for me, it lingers and grows.

Sometimes as humans, we let the moments slip by because too many other moments demand our time and attention. But that's the funny part about us. We multitask and beneath all our immediate thoughts, there are innate ones that we hide or not let out in the open. I will not say that every moment is of you, my lion, but I will say that every moment, is of happyness that comes from you and about you. And somehow that warmth, this thing called love, never seems to fade. Sometimes it sneaks out in smses, chats, emails and words, but it's always there.

I write this today. At the moment of crossroads. At the intersection of another path. Yes, I do not have all the answers but I know this. I love you, and that is the only direction I need. I will be leaving AirAsia soon and that in itself is painful on so many personal levels. This is where we met and no matter how my days here end, this was a place where love found it's place, grew and still grows. So inspite of all the temporary emotions at the end of my days here, it never changes the fact that there is always warmth here. Because of you.

Looking ahead at the decisions to be made, my mind is clear and my heart is steady. I do not know the answer while typing this down. But thought it would be a welcome distraction to let you know that underneath it all, I love you and that in itself is a beautiful thing.

PS. Bie, amidst all the noises and all the distractions, you are true, the only thing true that I can count on and look forward to each day. I love you.

Scribblings on a Monday

Your eyes are the sweetest stars I've ever seen.

~ Moulin Rouge



There are no stories today. Not because you are right here where my eyes can find you. And I am writing this not because there is a rush of emotions that my hands start dancing. In fact, it's just the start of another week to start the month of March. I know it is beautiful like any other day because I woke up to you and I know everyday with you should be called lion's day because you make everyday meaningful. But then again, I did not write this today to tell you that although my eyes and my everything betray me in front of you.

I write this today. For you. I know you always wondered what would my wedding vow be. I wrote this before. Intending it to be beautiful. I know you will be surprised on why am I writing this openly and for you to read.

I wrote this intending it for the 6th of November...

"Today I stand before the sweetest star God could have drawn in the skies. And as I look at them with the most important promise I will make this lifetime, I take your hand, and put on this ring. I stand before you at the start of our chapter, at the start of this commitment of us. This chapter right here, I call marriage. I promise to love you beyond any promise I could ever make, I will be here in any cloud that blocks you from my earth, and I will be here because I will always love you. You are my lion, my partner, my wife. I am no genius but I know what it means to love perfection. Today and everyday of our lives, I give you....me"

But as you know, this only means that I found a "better" wedding vow. Not so sure if I found a "better" one but maybe I have a vow in my mind that better puts into words what I feel for you baby. So consider this a sneak preview of the months to come. Of what I feel for you, our wedding, our marriage and the next chapter of our lives. I know you're only going to get more frustrated wondering what I'm going to say on the biggest day of our lives but that's love. Always surprising, always warm, always whispering that same joy.

I love you baby and I know I won't get to spend so much time physically around you soon but my heart, my heart, I lay in the palm of your hands.

PS. Bie, just wait for our wedding day. It's going to be beautiful :)