Today I'm not there

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.

~ Captain Corelli's Mandolin



Today I'm not by your side at the office like it used to be. But did you know that never did I ever leave you alone? I will never leave you alone baby.

Maybe like the story above, love is what happens when all feeling of being in love has passed. And what is left is this conviction, this belief of love. Love is the beauty of the soul and you are mine, my beauty and my soul. When we kiss, we feel the warmth because it is precisely at that moment when the souls meet. And after all the passion that fades away, you know precisely whether you have met love.

Because the love of that kind lasts. Today begins officially the new chapter of our lives. I don't have a name for this but what I know is that my hand is here waiting for you. I won't be seeing you today. But this blogpost, is an email from my heart. And my heart, my heart baby always beats for you.

Today we stand at start of another chapter, and somehow each page I turn is filled with beauty. You are the greatest beauty that I will ever discover. And the luckiest man is the one who finds that beauty in his life everyday. I know you think I'm lazy. Yes, I maybe be lazier than the past. But this much is true, that my love for you will never be lazy. My love I promise for you is eternal.

I know today my role is not the same but I have no pride and I always listen. Maybe my career path is not the same like when we first met but the truth is that I was meant to meet you and to love you. I always want you to know that nothing is wrong with professing all the love in the world for the woman you love and I love you. Nothing changes and I choose you and I will always love you this way. Today I woke up and it was all beautiful when I met your eyes :)You are my tree and we are one.

PS. Bie, today you're beautiful. I love you.

finding you perfect on a wednesday

"Do you ever put your arms out and just spin and spin and spin? Well, that's what love is like. Everything inside of you tells you to stop before you fall, but you just keep going."

~ Practical Magic



Wednesday. Love.

I have written so many project plans in over the four years of period that I have been having a job. Perhaps I should have written one a long time ago and shared it with you. So let me share the plans and dreams of a hobbit with you.

Project Code: TOP Priority
Project Name: The Pursuit of Lion (Happyness)
Project Timeline: From the moment subject matter laid eyes on me (beginning) and estimated end period of forever and ever
Proposed Budget: Whatever it takes
Success Parameters:
1. Being with you forever
2. Making you the happiest luckiest woman in the world
Estimated returns: A lifetime of the greatest happiness

Project Team:-
Project Lead: Hobbit
Project Team:
1. Lamb
2. Bie
3. Agent Yau Yeng

Resources allocation:
1. All the love in the world
2. All the patience of a hobbit
3. All the time left in the life of a bie
4. All the good things about agent Yau Yeng

Proposed Activities:-
Bring Sexy Back
~ To bring back everything that feels good and sexy everyday into your life by simply being me. Not that I'm sexy but I think you're hot and sexy and maybe being with an idiot/moron, you would actually be a Goddess. Well, my Goddess at least. I want you to feel good about everything you and that this world is beautiful and sexy to live on. That every second with me is beautiful and so worth living.

Hold your hand and never let go
~ The trick is in not really in holding tight and refusing to let go. The real trick is in fitting my hand in just nice into your life, letting it breathe a little, supporting the hand when it's weak and generally carrying the load of your hand. Sometimes it involves balancing but always, it's always about letting your hand know, that no hand fits better and carries your's better until the end of our days. I know my hand sweats after like 3 mins and it's ugly but it's strong and it's steady. And it holds tight and supports strong.

Wipe away the clouds
~ No advanced scientific machinery to control the weather is necessary but what is really required is the willingness to stand in the rain and after that paint another rainbow before the sun appears. Everyone needs reminding that the sun will shine. And I know I will not always be that sunshine that is beautiful but I am here for you in all weathers and when the clouds are there, I will chase them away with patience, gentleness and love.

Finding treasure
~ Yes, I am greedy. I am greedy for each treasure that is your smile. I am greedy for treasure that is you. I am greedy for us. I am greedy for time for us and I am definitely greedy and never contented being with you. Yes, I am guilty of being greedy and I will never be satisfied because I will never have enough of you.

Writing meaning
~ To write my meaning not in the sands of the sea or on rocks or on paper. But in the brightest stars of my sky. Because I will always find meaning in your eyes and there are none more brighter and shiny in my sky. And I will always be lost in them. That's my meaning. So in them forever I will stay.

Walk an endless Road
~ It's walking until the end that counts. And to walk, it requires all resources and more than that. In every project, there are unforseen obstacles and challenges especially for a project so monumental and daring in nature. But this is not an option or a choice, to walk is a commitment of everything. I know your mother told you guys, boys and men are never to be trusted so it's okay I'm a hybrid of things that you can lean on and walk with until the end. One day maybe when we've lost all our teeth and hair and maybe, maybe just then you will remember this project plan and you will smile. And I will wait for that day. Until then, let's keep walking, let's keep loving, let's keep living.

Today is beautiful and maybe this project plan only complements. It's just a plan, it's not alive. What's alive is this. What's real is this. Right here, right now, and tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow and maybe until the end, I am here. I am real. I love you and plan or no plan, I will always be here, your lamb, your hobbit, your bie, your all.

PS. Bie, I know the plan is far from perfect and only paints happy pictures, but life together is happiness and I will always chase my happyness, you. I am here for you. Always. I love you.

you, me, us on a thursday

Some people live their whole life and never fall in love. I lived mine and I fell in love.

~ Leelee Sobieski, Here On Earth



Here on Earth was a novel written and later like all interesting books, gets translated into a movie. Here on Earth begins with Kelvin "Kelley" Morse and Jasper Arnold involved in a car race and accidentally damage a restaurant owned by Samantha Cavanaugh (Leelee Sobieski)'s parents. Both are sentenced to perform community service by repairing the damage. Although Kelley comes from a wealthy family and Samantha's parents are working-class, they soon find that they have more in common than they imagined, and they fall in love. Samantha's parents learn later on that Samantha has osteosarcoma and only a few months to live. When Kelley learns the awful truth, he must decide if he should obey his father's wishes and go to college or stay by the side of the first girl he's ever loved.

Its a beautiful day today and my baby woke up early filled with inspiration. She woke me up this morning for a change and her voice was the sweetest music that ever rang on my handphone. My mind was still blurry and my eyes were so reluctant to open today and I blame it on the chilly weather and the sleep filled with dreams of her last night. I pulled off the sheets from my still warm seeking body and rushed to get prepared. It was a slow drive filled with thoughts of her along the Kesas highway and I was really thinking of what she casually asked me on why do we torture ourselves this way. I seriously don't have an answer and I wonder why.

I realised as I clutched my hands tight anticipating to see my lion at 7.45am that my day really began when I saw her at her door looking at me so beautiful. I was a bit frustrated with her automatic gate and a dog named prince for being the only things stopping me from hugging her tight. My first second on a Thursday for me really began when I kissed her good morning and tasted a bit of heaven in my mouth. I knew my day had started the moment I touched her lips and felt complete. Now, writing this is to help me try to figure out when really does my day begin. Like every other day, mine begins with her. I was really thinking, if that was the truth, then was I ever living until the moment I fell in love with her?

Was thinking of Here on Earth this morning when I was playing with these thoughts. Do we really need a huge incident to shake us and make us appreciate what we have? When it comes to loving her, I've made a decision to always savour and treasure everything single thing, from the smallest to the biggest perfection that you keep including in unexpected and expected times in our lives. Today, baby, I just want to say thank you and how much everything you do for me means to me. I know these will not go recorded in history but it will always live in my memory and my smiles. That to me is more important than anything else in the world because you are the most important object, person, thing, creature, treasure, entity, character and lover that I will ever meet my life.

Today, I had banana pancakes designed and made by the softest and most gentle hands that I can't seem to stay away from. It was really good and she told me that it was her first time having a go at it which I find really hard to not smile to. Shes special like that, the way she keeps making me smile at all these small perfections that she does so effortlessly. I don't really have a story to match the warmth that she filled me with today except for the three words that she tells me everyday. She tells me these not just in words but in the things she does, her eyes, the way she touches my life and more. Theres only one way to say these three words and baby, I wish I could say them to you everyday for a lifetime, I love you. Baby, believe me theres nothing more true in our lifetime.

PS. Bie, on a beautiful Thursday like this, you have to go and be perfect and ruin it by stealing all the spotlight. I hate it that you always do this that I can't help loving you forever and ever baby.

friday lights out

" I always thought that there was this one perfect person for everybody in the world, you know, and when you found that person the rest of the world kind of magically faded away, and, you know, the two of you would just be inside this kind of protective bubble, but there is no bubble, I mean if there is, you have to make it, I just think life is more than a series of moments, you know. We can make choices, and we can choose to protect the people we love, and that's what makes us who we are and those are the real memories "

~ Forces of Nature



There are two kinds of breakfasts in this world. A note to make, my personal favourite was the one that was supposed to come on a silver platter. Its funny how people say that the breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I never used to agree on that but lately, the truth has never been more true. A good breakfast makes me smile for hours at a time but a great breakfast simply makes my day and makes me glow in a funny way. Its a Friday and I feel like an answering machine repeating that its the end of another week again and the beginning of what I know will be another fabulous weekend. This weekend is special because my baby's leaving on a jet plane for many nights and I know I will be missing her and this weekend so much when she leaves :(

The world as people say and describe is cruel and heartless in many many ways. And people end up delusional that the only thing in their lives are sadness and more lies and deceit behind every corner. What we can decide, and what we should be concerned about always is how we react to all these or even in most times not react at all and live the way we feel is right. Many things get thrown at us that makes us have funny physical weird feelings to inner doubts to thoughts that are unsettling. There are compasses in our lives that we need to hold on to so that we never get lost. My compass is our love. I believe that as long as I know my priority is constantly you, its way too hard to get lost along the way.

Its the start to another weekend and somehow both of us knows it will be perfect. Perfect because with your hand and you, nothing can go wrong. Thats the believe that I want you to have baby, that with you and us together, no matter which storm comes our way, we will ride it through intact and full of love. But enough of the negativity and pessism like my horoscope describes I am, firstly I'm writing this to chase away your fears and weird feelings but most importantly, I am writing this in order to write another chapter of smiles together.

Thinking about our DL list, the world is so complete and so full of hope. It sustains me on the times I feel like nothing is working out and the times that I'm tempted to be 'childish'. Baby, I want to say something simple straight to your heart with this post. Like Ben Affleck in Forces of Nature, just because we're together, a bubble does not automatically appear around us and keeps us safe. We need to create that bubble, by believing in our love. Yes, its only two months young but its the same love that will sustain us for a lifetime. We have choices and I've made mine to commit for a lifetime and to protect your heart from anything and everything that the world could possibly throw at us.

We've had so many beautiful moments, but its not these that make us that bubble. Its in the way you try hard to make me the center of your universe, the way you refuse to let go of my hand and the way you make me all your reasons too. This post is to say, you're not alone in doing all that and that we are here to make this happen together, one step at a time, one day at a time. One day, look back with me baby and we'll realised we've walked a lifetime.

PS. Bie, I still want to get a silver platter and your fav toy.

Breakfast at Linda's

There is a place You can touch a woman that will drive her crazy...Her heart.

~ Milk Money

And they say that theres a place that can drive a man crazy...His stomach. Not sure how many agree on that point though. One of the most beautiful things that she does to make sure my day is perfect and starts with a smile is the meals she makes sure are perfect. The breakfast that she pours her heart into when she wakes up early is really something which touches my heart everytime.

From the crazy hours that she endures to wake up even when her eyes tells her not to, to brave the kitchen in the wee hours of the morning and all the work while ensuring that shes not late to work, every effort that she puts in, my heart feels it and is humbled. Humbled by how much she would do just to make me smile that little bit and just be able to see by all these things that I am the most important person in her life. She doesn't have to prepare a mountain of a meal or the most expensive of ingredients. Because each ingredient shes chosen indeed shows how much care she has for me. Each perfected meal shows how much she wants our love to be perfect.

They say you can tell a lot from the way a person looks at you. Her eyes is a storyboard beyond comparison. I have often described it as the brightest stars of my skies and even whispered that to her. Her eyes when she brings me my every morning customary breakfast simply says this: "I have done my best. I hope you like this. And I hope you definitely like me". And you know what baby, I love every breakfast, or every brekkie as the Americans call it, and I definitely love you baby. Your smile and you, are the best breakfast any man could ask for, even for this silly man who can't stop grinning when you first appear in the morning.

Now, lets see, if I were to compile my list of my favourite breakfast this would be it:-

1. Evil Janet on a silver platter and accompanying garnishes
2. Owner of a prince with raw sashimi
3. Elf with sambal toppings
4. Continental meal with you on a beach. Think Redang baby.
5. Any meal that your hand touches.

PS. Bie, you're the sweetest meal that melts my heart, the spiciest food that excites my everyday and the best gourmet that perfects my life.

My angel?

I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.

City of Angels



Nicholas Cage, plays Seth, an angel who watches over those who are dying and leads them to the next life. He and one of his fellow angels, Cassiel like to ask people what their favourite thing in life was when they escorted them to the other side and they never really understood humans. That is until Seth meets Maggie, played by Meg Ryan. Seth decides to fall and be mortal and in turn be human in order to love her. Maggie is taken away in a cruel traffic accident but not before she tells him that when shes asked what her favourite thing was, she would answer Seth. Cassiel visits Seth after and asks if Seth had regretted himself choosing to fall to which Seth replied the above.

Its a Thursday and its another beautiful day. Theres a lot of noise going around us and sometimes we both find ourselves distracted. I try to keep a clean focus on everything everyday but with her, its so difficult. I'm holding her hand today and she insists on pampering me so much. I remember once she smsed me that she takes care of her things and belongings well. And I remember that if I did not want to fall into West Lake, I should decide to belong to her. Right now, the only thing I regret not doing was making her more happy every second and that I should only be concerned about belonging to her for a lifetime. Like Seth, I would rather have a moment with her than a lifetime without her, you are my angel.

Theres so much to worry about in life. But with her, with her close by, she says I'm perfect. Maybe because she didin't know I had to be brave for us even when I too was afraid. Maybe she didin't know that I was not smart enough in many things but had to be smart. And maybe she didin't know how imperfect I was but all along she was making me a better man. I am afraid most times, that I would not know how to make her smile. That she would shut me out from her world. But today like every other day, shes so determined to make me feel special. So focused on making me the centre of her universe. Inspite the fact that shes easily distracted and easily loses focus herself, she has never failed to put me as the main focus in everything. Be it from msn that she does not take seriously, to the meals that she prepares, to the times she would want me so much to know that I'm important and I matter more than other things. And for the times that I have failed her in all those moments, I am not perfect.

I do not apologise but baby, you complete me. With you, we are perfect. I do not promise to be perfect but I promise that you have my whole heart in all things big or small and I will always be here for you. In the clouds of uncertainty to the sunshine that we feel together, my hand never left yours baby. Where I fail, you have been there to make it perfect. Where I left things in a mess, you make it perfect. Despite all my failings, you still see me as perfect. And for all that, thank you for making the "mistake" of choosing me. Let me cherish you and love you for a lifetime.

PS. Baobei, let me always treat you like the baby and the treasure that you are.

Its Saturday again...

Life is never perfect, and love is never what you want it to be. I don't know where we will end up, but I do know that we share a love. As we enter this new phase in our relationship, I feel a chance to begin again. Everyone knows how pearls are made, sand in an oysters mouth... Well our love has encountered and will continue to encounter "sand" and other trouble... But as we work the best we can, we can make our own pearls. Someday when we are old and grey, we both will stand hand in hand on a beach of pearls and watch the waves come in, and know that our love has conquered all that has attempted to shatter it, and together we will be victorious.

Jerry Grant Blakeney



I do not know Jerry Grant Blakeney but his words somehow make sense. Its a Saturday. Been waiting for this day for days. It seems like so long since we last had a weekend together. Just want time to be with her, to take her away to a place for us. Hope to be the reason we're going to smile so much this weekend. We're learning how to love each other more stronger and more passionate than before. There is no formula for generating the authentic warmth of love. It cannot be copied. You cannot talk yourself into it or rouse it. You just need to believe in it.

Last night and the night before was the time I've seen her smile again after what seemed like a long time. Funny, how sadness can drown the sense of time and drift you away from reality. What is hell? I think that it is the suffering of being unable to love. What is love? It is complicated, stunning, it turns you upside down, but to find the person who completes you is the best sensation that someone may feel one day. It is like it was an encounter with your ownself, and as such, of course, it scares, it makes you think all your life over again; and you find out, at the end, that you were nothing before knowing the true love. And that, after you are past thinking, you realise that you are finished if you don't have, even if it is for one single day, your special soul by your side.

I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. You make me want to be a better man. Its another hour before I'm allowed to come searching for you and my heart has not stop calling for you. Every passing second seems so slow. Waiting to see my meaning and to encounter my love. Typing this, you really complete me. I wish you were right here reading this now. Reading my heart. I love you bie and I am coming for you.

PS. Bie, you're the hottest. Luv u to bits. Never shut me out. I will be here for you. Always.

the only logic is love

John Nash: What truly is logic? Who decides reason? My quest has taken me to the physical, the metaphysical, the delusional, and back. I have made the most important discovery of my career - the most important discovery of my life. It is only in the mysterious equations of love that any logic or reason can be found. I am only here tonight because of you.
[looking at and speaking to Alicia]
John Nash: You are the only reason I am. You are all my reasons. Thank you.



Its funny how I'm writing my second post for you today. Maybe my mind wanders too freely at home thinking about you. Maybe its more me that wants to be with you right now. Theres so much that I want to tell you and theres so much that I want to do with you. Getting up from a short nap, I felt time passed so fast only to get up and realise that its still so long until we meet again today.

Writing this, I guess the thing that I wanted to tell you most is that I will be here holding your hand. I'm cherishing this moment and theres so much left for us to do. For now, you love me very much and tomorrow that feeling might be gone. But I want to stand with you now when it matters. Logic in the common word says that you or me might just leave at any time. But the only logic I find is that I want to be with you for a lifetime. And for the moment, thats all that matters. We get lost at times, but love will find us the way back when we stray from the path.

Life is more than mathematical reasoning and love is the only logic for me that will hold true to the end admist all the noise and all the confusion that the world throws. That is my belief. And I hope in time, it will last. She wants me to be true to her and not give her false hopes when there is none. I do not promise you that everything will be fine when I promised forever for no one can. But what I do promise is that our love will give you protection not fear in the darkest of our time. It takes time and we have all the time in the world to ourselves to cherish this. I do not need to make you trust and believe me. Our love will handle that end. I am only here typing this because of you.

All I need to worry about is how do I love you more and how do I keep making you fall in love with me. Because we need to live one day at a time. My heart tells me that its important to also think about a lifetime but for now, let me be here for you one day at a time. You are the only reason I am. You are all my reasons. Thank you for loving me.

EJ says "I can do better..."

Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away

Hitch (Will Smith)



I think love and being in a relationship is similar. Its not how many heart beats that you have with her but rather how many breathes you share with her that steals your life away. Its not about how much you should be part of her life but rather, how much of this thing called happiness you can give to her. Its easy to demand to be number one in her life because you think shes number one in yours. If you love her, you do not need to demand and think you should always be number one. You need to step back and look at her. Money, everyone can find and work for. Precious stones any expert hand can make. Expensive stuff, many can afford to spend on lavishly. But what I can do for her, is be with her and achieve with her what matters most in her life.

Was at the petrol pump this morning and I was still early, a bit too early to call on her. Wanted to get the Star at the kiosk but something about the look of the attendant turned me off. Maybe it was the sun in my eyes or the annoyance at lining up to pay for so long, I'm not sure. But I wanted to wait for her this morning and to give her more time to rest. There are only a few things in this world that beats that extra few minutes in bed especially on a working day. Then she called, it was instantaneous and the sun creeping up that was so annoying became so beautiful. I could swear I heard birds chirping just around the hills. I was lifted into a musical and my day was a love story waiting to happen.

And thats how it is every morning only everyday it becomes so much more beautiful and the message beating in my heart becomes so much more powerful. Everyday, I get up open my eyes and repeat the same process of self discovery that I'm loving her more and more with each passing day. Shes been listening to me ramble a lot lately and we just got off msn. Wanted her to know that being with her, I knew I wouldn't always be number one. I mean, I told her I loved her because I really do eventhough I knew I would not always be number one in her facets of life. She lives with passion and love for so many things. People say love is about giving yourselves wholeheartedly to the other and I could not agree more. I love her knowing that at times and most times, I would need to take a backseat to her other passions.

She likes to dance and definitely wants to dive. I know these passions take up a lot of time that maybe we could be together with. But I understand that you do not demand these from her. You do not take away the passion from her life. From her friends who shape her to her family that cares for her, loving her means sharing all these with all of them. At these times, I will not be number one and I shouldn't be as well. Loving her means understanding and accepting these and yet love her more. Simple isn't it?

I wish I could give her a compass so that she can always find her way back to my heart when shes lost. That I could always be with her eventhough I can't possibly in all that she does. I do not need her to do better or to change. Because I fell in love with the her whos her. My love for her does not require all these. My love for her demands that she be number one in everything and thats what I will always do for her. I do hope for more time with her but only if it does not steal more slices of her heart. I would definitely like it if she smiles for me but I would be equally happy if shes happy because of others although in some stuff I do not understand why or what. I do not need to understand everything but I need to love her in everything which is also simple.

PS. Bie i do not need better because you're perfect.

staying together forever?

Frank Beardsley: "It's giving life that counts. Until you're ready for it, all the rest is just a big fraud. All the crazy haircuts in the world won't keep it turning. Life isn't a love-in, it's the dishes, and the orthodontist, and the shoe repairman, and ground round instead of roast beef. And I'll tell you something else. It isn't going to bed with a man that proves you're in love with him, it's waking up in the morning and facing the drab, miserable, wonderful, everyday world with him that counts."

I actually haven't seen this movie but thought this quote is pretty right on and decided to post it after reading the synopsis of it online. I was intrigued by the quote but do not know if the movie is worth watching. Just sitting here wondering how to make Evil Janet fall in love with me again today when I stumbled across the synopsis which is interesting reading on a Friday leave day.

Yours, mine and ours is about a reunion of high school sweethearts Frank Beardsley (Dennis Quaid who I think is a decent actor) and Helen North nee White who are reunited when Frank and his family move back to his home town of New London. They are instantly attracted to each other and quickly decide to marry. They recognise and accept the fact that he already has eight children from his first marriage, and she has ten from her first marriage, hers a mixture of her own born and a rainbow of adopted children.

Frank is an Admiral with the Coast Guard and is very disciplined about life and strict on how things should be done, whereas she is a free spirit - she is a designer by trade - with a more lackadaisical attitude. Their respective children, who are a mirror of their parent's views, hate each other. They however feel that they can get out of their new situation by joining forces to show their parents their respective differences about life.

I think EJ and myself came with a lot of previous baggage that we have somehow got over but rather hurt in that attempt similar to Frank and Helen that carried their own baggage. They're different enough, although not from different planets but different enough as individuals as people. Sometimes and I think in the future, we will think we are different enough as individuals because of our upbringing but its not that, that counts. Its like Frank said, love binds people together, to get through the tough times where you question and doubt.

I do not think everything will be smooth sailing but I believe that with EJ, we will still be holding hands. Love is not about bringing the perfect couple together. Its about as always seeing the perfect in being together. Because we've been burnt too much to know what it takes to stay together for a lifetime. And because she cares, I care and we both care and want to take this to the next level. Its easy to say this in the so-called 'honeymoon' period but time goes by and somehow everyday, I find myself loving her more and more. I just can not explain how or why but I think with her, I found my forever in her eyes. Because one day, the hair will lose its luster, the eyes will fail, the teeth will fall, the skin will wrinkle but my hand will still be holding hers.

PS. Baby, stop asking me whether I'm sure or not. Because I sure as hell am sure.

the definition

Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. There are three things that last faith, hope and love, and love is the greatest of these.

The Bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4 - 8

I think its easy to get confused when you're deep in a relationship. So many conflicts happen, like where do you place your feelings and your heart. People say that when you're in a relationship, all that matters is the other soulmate. I do not think so, because although the other person should be your world, you should never demand that her world be only you. Thats not life. Life is to share in hers not make her life only about you. Her friends, her likes, dislikes, her family, you need to understand and accept.

People get easily confused that when you are in a relationship, you need to dump everything and make the other the focus of all your attention but this is simply false. When I look at Evil Janet, I realise that its her family, her friends, her likes and her dislikes that make her the way she is. I could never ask her to seperated or change from all these because all these make her who she is. I love her for who she is and all these make up who she is. I think of that quote from the Bible often. Before deciding on our relationship, I sat back and discussed with myself intensely if I can commit to these ideals that I can believe in these values with her in mind. And I said yes.

To be in love, is to be kind because love is beautiful not only to her and those around her but your world becomes beautiful because of her. It is never jealous because I know that I'm always on her mind no matter who shes with or where she is. Love is never boastful or conceited because there is simply no winning or losing in a relationship, it is about giving yourself to each other. It is never rude or selfish because love demands that you respect her as a proper human what more the one you want to spend your life with. It does not take offense and is not resentful because love is forgiving in every way. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins but delights in the truth because the truth will set you free and lies only cloud what goes in between. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes because thats simply what love is. There are three things that last faith, hope and love, and love is the greatest of these. And I hope our love will last. I will be satisfied with a lifetime or an eternity.

Never saying sorry

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."

Ali MacGraw (Jennifer Cavalieri) in Love Story (1970)



Just went through an episode in our relationship and in a strange way, we have come back stronger and loving each other more. I think its a learning process that we're going through and it does make you wonder on what will happen next. I truly believe that love is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose. The true essence of love is risking everything for the dream that nobody sees but you. If theres magic in love, its the magic of believing beyond all the noises the world throws at you and all the thoughts that make you afraid, to just believe.

When theres doubt, you keep moving on. Thats what love is. Its not just holding hands, kissing, and whispering sweet nothings. That's what a relationship needs. What is real? How do you define real? If you mean what we can taste, smell, hear and feel then what's "real" is nothing more than electrical signals interpreted by your brain. What is real in love then? After the honeymoon period is over if its not about only the passion?

I think love is about giving and believing even when its painful and there are doubts. Because when you are commited, the sun will shine again and chase away the rain. And when it shines, it will shine all the more beautiful. You can't get a rainbow without the rain, and you can never treasure happiness without the pain of growing with the relationship. I want to make Evil Janet a believer and hopefully she'll whisper to me the sentence I've been waiting to hear and the one she has never said to anyone. All you need to do, is believe.

Michael Jordan, the greatest athlete to play basketball said it best, "I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

Magic

Just got back from Perth. Surprisingly, I'm still not tired out. Yesterdays finale was the V Festival at Clairemont grounds and its been exciting. I think magics a lot like a music festival. You have the flashes, the wow you and the exciting finale. Both made the audience wonder and the audience wants to be wowed by the act thats put on. They want to see a show and for a moment let the show take their breathe away.

Now, most tv shows usually run the same script. Its the same based formula but the only thing that changes are the characters and the settings, be it from a surgical theater to a lost island to simply ordinary life. Whats captivating is that magic that people are looking for. A relationship is the same, most people fall in love with the flashes and the bangs. They look for that one moment that defines magic. One moment does not define a relationship nor can it sustain a lifetime.

Magic is not in the cards that you hand make, or the flowers that you fold, nor is it in the one moment that you go hunting for. Its in the little things that you do everyday, in fact every second in a relationship. To get someone to fall in love with you is simply the easy part. To get that someone to continue to fall in love with you over and over again everyday is the magic. Through the little things that you do defines a relationship. Its easy to leave things to 'magic' and say that everythings fated. But without any effort, a relationship will not last and the magic will be gone. The true magic that exists in to get that one you love to fall in love with you over and over again everyday of your life forever and ever.

Real magic is in getting that special someone to smile for you and when you look into her eyes, you know that its real. That divides the moment from the magic. When you know that no matter how much you screw up but still can see that same eyes, you will never see the magic. The secret to magic is in the simple things that you do. Care for her, love her and make her happy. Simple words.

People look for magic but do not know what magic it is they are looking for. I'm looking for a magic that defies character and makes someone believe again in everything that was lost. Simple to be said, but thats magic.

Earth Hour = Love Hour......A Story

This is a story that happened on the 28th of March in a distant year that people might or might not remember. Its a story about two individuals called Jamal and Lathika. Any similarities with any fictional or real characters are purely intentional and meant to be.



Now, it was an early morning and Jamal was tired finishing a card for Lathika on the 28th. I would like to say the birds were chirping and the sky was crystal blue but no..the greatest thing that could happen was when Lathika woke him up. That was the tone for the day from hearts racing to stopping to galloping to craziness.

Jamal found himself lost in front of Lathika's home and he was early, mind you (hey, the road numbering was funny and had to twirl a few times arounf the block). They had their fist hug which then time stopped for approximately 0.1 seconds before reality came back (which really sux). Lathika had fruit drinks for breakfast which she had been kind enough to share with Jamal which really was the first heart mealt of the day.

The entire day was a fairytale run and if everything was written here, there would be no ending. Now, the Bible says that "Man shall not leave on bread alone". Heck, it could not have been more true, everything was sweet and Jamal and Lathika lived on air, water and love alone. Estimated time spent on gazing at each other was an Olympic record 14 straight hours. Everything was perfect although the movie, Taken would not have been a great first date movie because 1) the movie spoke about 2 travellers who got taken (pun intended) and Lathika just got back from a 2 people trip 2) the violence was 'painful'. But, it ended well with a few instances of Jamal constantly peeking to see if Lathika was allright and it must be noted that Lathika's reactions were cute. This was in between Jamal picking caramel popcorn for Lathika from the other tasteless ones.

The most awesome part was dinner. The place was practically deserted and it was like Jamal and Lathika had the whole restaurant for themselves. An then, "Excuse me sir and madam, now is earth hour. Would you mind if we turn off the lights and use candles?". Imagine a whole restaurant, great ambience, excellent music, fine dining, wine, whole restaurant empty, candlelight dinner and all the time in the world. I wish the English language could invent words to describe these happenings which extends beyond euphoria, perfection and absolute romance. Or maybe there is a word, but the author simply does not know nor cares.

There was wine, eye gazing, ahem, hand holding and that moment was pure magic. It was so thick in the eye that it would suffocate you. Jamal and Lathika were in love and nothing could steal the moment. Nothing on earth could have disrupted that moment. After a slow meal, it was onto the veranda after the lights were turned back on. Magnificent view of KL Tower and KLCC. The only imperfection was the absence of stars in the sky. Finished the wine but the shock came when Lathika was tipsy and had to get to the washroom. Won't go into details, but Jamal and Lathika shared their first kiss right there and then. It was the most magical moment of the night if you ask me.

Lathika told Jamal that she got tipsy on purpose to be daring. Now if love is not the best anectode for bravery then I do not know what is. It was love that made her brave enough to be tipsy and so was it really love that made her brave enough or was it the wine? The answer is written.

The heartstops, heart melts, time stopping moments would have destroyed the earth and put global warming to shame.

Well, the night ended with Jamal racing back driving with one hand and the other holding onto Lathika's. End of story which will stay in their minds forever the author hopes, forever and ever.

I wish to say I was making this up but the author also has been biting his own fingers to ensure that this was real and the many more that happened that day was pure magic. The author hopes to write more magic tomorrow, next week, next month, next year and forever to come.

This also explains why there were no new comments on the 28th of March on the AirAsia blog. Jamal needed a day off, one day just not to look at the blog and live a proper life and the greatest day of his life was just perfect.

Now excuse me, I need to stop daydreaming of the 28th and start thinking about her and missing her.

PS. Baby, I luv u...forever and ever baby!

sweet talk?

"What? You're going with your neighbour? The one whose mom was from MAS?"

"Yeah. Call you when I get back"

Thud. End of line. Hearing that evil janet was going to dinner with her neighbour was pain in the gut. Not because I didin't trust her nor was there an inner green monster appearing. It was painful only because I so hoped I could be the guy to take evil janet out to dinner tonight. Have you ever felt a time for a person that you wanted to spend as much waking time with? But you know what, there are many many many more nights to come, and honestly, today was one of the greatest days of my life. It beats Tun Musa reading the speech I wrote to launch Sime Darby, me getting a promotion and even winning the university basketball tournament in NZ!

There were several times today that I felt my heart pop and I could swear that blood rushed so fast to my head that I had to run from sight and from normal people.

Today was a first of many things. For one, I woke evil janet up...it was really sweet, her voice when she woke up. Sitting there waiting for her was just so beautiful. It was the cutest voice that no anime character or actress could ever come up with and my day started off on fire. It was simply unbelievable that the rain was chased away and I could not believe myself happily humming to LCCT on a cloudy morning.

At the meeting today, she simply set my heart racing for the hills. When her eyes met mine, it was like a wave of emotion ran all the way up and down that I actually felt dizzy. It was like a lightning strike right up my vertebrae and completely froze me on the spot.

Today, the blog video is finally done. But strangely enough, I didn't feel any sense of accomplishment. This happened right after the meeting and that lightning bolt was still rushing up and down even after an hour!!!! That was simply how you blow my mind. Nothing else mattered.

Today was also the first time I walked her to her car. On the short walk, I nearly had to slap myself to stop myself from holding her hand which was right there! It was just swinging right there and I was half staggering convinced I should slap myself and the other sane side trying to keep up a proper conversation. When she said goodbye, I could have simply collapsed on the spot. She is that eternal sunshine of my evil mind.



Evil janet actually said I'm a sweet talker. Yvonne, guess what? I still got my mojo. But I still wonder if she will believe that every word was true and real. That every moment with her is sweet. The Beetles said it best, "Its only words and words are all I have to take your heart away." Wonder if I'm daring enough. That I would never bluff her. Come to think of it, this is the first post I have thats so personal. Wonder if she will be mad....thank goodness her modem's out....

Gettin some love

Just launched the pilot competition today. Todays was seemingly a historic day for AirAsia with our Zoom! Malaysia campaign and our A340 welcome into the family. Pics will be up on all our official channels soon so cant be bothered.

The press has given the competition attention which is great when I expected nothing. Trying to get somewhere with web 2.0 application and the pilot getway is simply fantastic. Who offers an opportunity to be a millionaire through a blog?






The concept is simply great that you utilise a web2.0 application and change someones life. Some much bigger can it get? Just look at the media coverage.

Kinda cool to get a mention in the papers but kinda blows me cover like the wind. Hopefully this is the one way ticket to get the AirAsia blog recognised. To the aspiring pilots, I sincerely wish all of you the best of luck and just impress us that you should be a millionaire.