I feel like dancing

Soul mates. It's extremely rare, but it exists. It's sort of like twin souls tuned into each other. It just so happened I found mine that looks just like you standing in front of me looking right at me now that I would give up heaven for you.

~ What Dreams May Come



Recording the final posts to a hundred seems a journey by itself. Have not really paid attention to the posts that I've written but only when my lion mentioned it did I bother to go back and count. It really doesn't feel or seem like I've written much for her. My heart simply speaks and my hands listen to it beat before it dances for her. Admitedly even at my best, the words I scribble and the symphony of phrases I can conjure can not match her elegance and beauty on the dance floor. But this simple dance is for her. And its a solo on a floor that echoes I love you baby the only way I know how to say it best.

Every turn or spin requires the dancer to focus on keeping his/her balance. This is achieved through focus and spotting. Other elements also include body alignment and placement of the arms. For the purposes of dancing Salsa, the dance steps borrow Focus and Spotting from other dances such as Jazz and Ballet. When I dance across the keyboard, the only thing I'm focused on is your smile and the only spotting is the mind and heart are one in saying that you will always know that I love you. The only thing I need to borrow is your heart and I will need it for a lifetime.

Spotting is applied when a dancer is turning solo or is caused to turn. Spotting is the act of causing your head and eyes to “start last” and “finish first” throughout the sequence of spins while keeping your body centered. What’s important about spotting is to learn how to “separate” the head from the body when turning. The effect of not spotting is dizziness. If I do not spot her clouds from far away, I end up more than dizzy. I need to always keep my head separated from my heart that is anxious about her all the time and to be calm enough to hold her hand when the whole world is falling apart around us.

Since the head is heavy, it needs to be controlled as the body spins or turns. At first, everyone feels the effect of dizziness. Since our eyes are like the lens on glasses and cameras, everyone will find themselves going out of focus and then back into focus. Eventually, people become more accustomed to focusing eyes and balancing the body to accomplish single or multiple turns. My head often gets carried away by silly thoughts and my eyes do not see the truth when I'm needed to. So I choose to be by her side and listen before any storm carries us away. As I walk more with her, I learn how best to love perfection in all the turns of this story called life.

The name "Salsa" is the Spanish word for sauce, which indicates (in American Spanish) a spicy flavor. Salsa as a dance for Salsa music was created by Spanish-speaking people from the Caribbean which mixes African and European dance influences through the music and dance fusions that are the roots of Salsa. The dance steps currently being danced to salsa music come from the sun, but were influenced by many other Cuban dances such as Mambo, Cha cha cha, Guaracha, Changüí, Palo Monte, Rumba, Abakuá, Comparsa and sometimes even Mozambique. Walking with you is the sharing of passion which is simply born from the infusion of emotions and the creativity born of expressing how important you are to me. We are the same but different enough to create our own unique journey through life so walk with me.

The basic step of all styles of salsa involves 3 weight changes (or steps) in each 4 beat measure. The beat on which one does not step might contain a tap or kick, or weight transfer may simply continue with the actual step not occurring until the next beat. Some individuals may insert an actual pause. One of the steps is a "break step" a little bit longer than the other two. Different styles of Salsa are often differentiated by the direction and timing of the break step ("on 1" or "on 2" for example). After 6 weight changes in 8 beats, the basic step cycle is complete. We have weight changes in our relationship too and it involves a lot of patience and understanding. I do not say that there won't be storms ahead waiting for us but we will walk this complete step cycle, so you need to trust me and give me your hand always.

As a salsa dancer changes weight the upper body remains level and nearly unaffected by the weight changes. Caught in the middle are the hips which end up moving quite a bit--the famous "Cuban hip movement." My steps follow you while my eyes are fixed on you, unable to move anywhere else. Caught in the middle is my heart which ends up being in a storm -- the famous "Beating only for a sealion".

In a salsa dance, the arms are used to communicate the lead in either open or closed position. In open position the two dancers hold one or both hands, especially for moves that involve turns, or putting arms behind the back, or moving around each other. In closed position, the leader puts the right hand on the follower's back, while the follower puts the left hand on the leader's shoulder. In life, we take turns leading each other, no matter what baby, just don't let go off me because a lamb needs a lion or it gets lost. I don't dance well or to put it in a more honest light, I can't dance at all but this one dance I will hold your hand for is this little dance called love. And its going to last a lifetime.

PS. Bie, dance this forever and ever with me. Dance with me to the beat of I Love You and hold me tight because the only dance of life we will have will be beautiful for our lifetime.

cinderella story

If there's magic in boxing, it's the magic of fighting battles beyond endurance, beyond cracked ribs, ruptured kidneys and detached retinas. It's the magic of risking everything for a dream that nobody sees but you.

~ Cinderella Man



Murphy's Law says this: Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure. Because man believes that things out of their reach, they can't be bothered with because they are believed to be beyond grasps and logic to understand much less control. But things that are within their reach, is attainable, can be doubted, can be altered, can be achieved. Strange. But how true. We believe that we hold our own fate in our own hands.

But how about things that are not within our reach and not possibly attainable? If theres magic in diving with her is the magic of fighting battles beyond endurance, beyond all the things playing in my head, cuts, bruises and the fear that tells me to give up. It's the magic of risking all that I have for something that nobody sees but her and me. I wish I could write a better story to show how much this means or for the fact, to find the right words at this moment to describe how much this means to the both of us.

At times I think being with EvilJanet is very much like boxing and diving.





In boxing facing all four corners, a boxer looks around and see the straps of ropes surrounding the ring. He sees the fearsome opponent not even giving him a chance or mercy. I look at myself looking up against the odds and I tell myself that nobody will give me a chance. There is always doubt, I look into my diving instructor's eyes and I see doubt. I started meeting her and there was a lot of doubt. But most times, her eyes and just her being around is all the motivation I need to stand back up. Her love pulls me back up everytime and whispers to me don't give up now because I'm not giving up so don't you dare give up.





In a boxing ring, you need to evade the hits and shots. In diving, you need to be aware of the rules and safety while still controlling your fear. In my life, I need to always be by her side always anticipating when I will not be number one. The worse thing is, its never her fault. So what do I say to her, I hide and tell myself that its okay she loves me but at that moment, I do feel all alone. Like I'm not needed. I do not know how to appear before her. All I want to do is grab her and tell her "Look at me. I love you so look at me please". But I can't so I step away for a moment. The problem is, she thinks I'm leaving her behind alone too. So I do ask myself, what can I do to make it better.





Sometimes, you need to take hits. Its unavoidable in the ring. You need to stand back up. Thats what counts. I've swallowed water countless times in the pool and you see me standing back up. Its all because of her. I see her all the time. I've adjusted so much to suit her. She doesn't know how much she hurts me when she doesn't tell me things. For one second, I'm talking to her and the other, I do not know where she is. One minute, I might be talking to her to find out shes doing something else all along. Sometimes, I find out too late about what she wants and what shes doing. Does she know I feel empty and am missing her?





But most of all, I'm writing this today to say; I'm here baby. I know the road is difficult. I have never asked you to change because I'm also trying to adapt to you while handling all these emotions. I don't tell you because you don't need to be bothered by how I feel. You are already tired as it is handling people around you. I do not ask to be your number one always because for you, its impossible and I don't need to be. I do not ask for anything except love me baby. Its two more days to Tioman and I really am here with you holding your hand doing this so just hold tight and don't do anything else. You don't need to touch the "wet paint" of my heart to know, I love you baby.

PS. Bie, this is our cinderella story. Against all the odds, I'm going to walk this journey called life with you and when we're done you can throw all your lion temper and tantrums you want. But for now, hold my hand. We're going to be certified.