Holding You is to Hold Perfection

I rather spend one minute holding you instead of spending the rest of my life knowing I never could.

~ Jimmy, Bubble Boy



I may need a compass because all my life I seem to be finding my way to you.

Today, the 2nd of January 2010, we have completed the third item on our DL list and perhaps no words can describe the emotions at the new chapter and a new year.



We made it to Hong Kong and back. To lion, her lamb knows she must be wondering if lamb thinks that the trip was more a relief to be over or was it a joy and a trip full of happyness. The answer is a definite, I would never have traded a second with you in Hong Kong and Macau for another in any other part of the world with any other person.

I found gifts of joy in each MRT ride, the ride into the mist and back and the walks through all the sights and sounds. And inspite of all the new things I saw, you remain the most beautiful gift a man could ask to spend my entire life with. This was a special trip and not because it was a glamourous trip into a foreign country but it was meaningful because of the hand that never left mine.



The truth of the matter is that, in all that cold of the weather, you were my warmth and each step I took, with you, it was a step in all the happyness I could hope for. My heart took notes and my mind will not forget the passing footsteps we made in Hong Kong and Macau. Yes, the weather was not kind at times and we missed Cirque de Soliel but what matters is that we smiled in the rain and we saw moments of happyness that no performance can emulate. We foud beauty in hidden places, frustration in moments but ever this never changed, that I keep falling more and more in love with you.



From taking advantage of you at the bus stop, at the tram and on the cable car in the mists, everything was clear and I saw you in every moment. And I know because it was because of you, every moment I will always remember clearly of our first adventure into the Orient.



We stood on the hills, walked among the clouds and kissed in the heavens of my heart. And I hope yours too.



Some things changed, like you were finally recognised as the royalty that you are and...



I may seem childish and appear stupid at most times, but like Astroboy, you make me be the hero in me. And I will cherish you, protect you, breathe you and love you. And that is not my life vow, for that is what every woman deserves from her man and I want to be your man the rest of our lives. I will always be here for you. Always.



This life, we will have many witnesses to our love, such as patience, honour, courage to stand for each other and the willingness to live each moment together. Take this boat ride of life with me and I promise that I will never let you down because letting you down is not a chapter in our destiny. You may think that is lame and feel that is all flowery in words but this line I write for you and this fact I know for sure, that today and everyday of our lives, I love you more and more. So do not wonder, do not question but believe that my hand is on yours and I am never letting go.



There is no other conclusion than this, I will not rest, not because it's still not our wedding yet but I will not rest until you see everyday that I love you and can not lose you. I will not let you go and after another chapter on our DL list, our love is strong. We fall, we learn, we live and we love. I know there are many imperfections but let our love be that perfection in all that is not at first. I love and with you, I am ready for the world.



Before the gates of the world, I am here for you and writing this, I know that you will always be the one for me and together let us keep walking because life would not be the same without you. The skies ahead are so excited waiting for us and my smile because of you will always stay. These are not just optimistic hopes built in optimistic words because I am determined to make you see them every moment of everyday. It doesn't end with our wedding but the wedding only says there's so much more happyness for us to search for and there's just so many more chapters to write.



With you, I am all I can be and more. With you, I am a star, a hero, a lamb, a man to a woman, a hobbit to an elf and a loyal companion to the end of time. I write this also because I for one, can't wait for our next chapter to start. Like that priest in the video, this love, this life, we will fight for it and if we must, we will die and live for it. I love you baby. Thank you for walking this list, this life, this love with a silly lamb. Thank you for being my meaning, for the smiles and for everything. I can't wait. 2010 watch out!

PS. Bie, I know I have been lazy but I am here and I have always been here and here will I always stay :P I love you and 2010 is a great start because of you. Let's go!

today I miss you

He kissed me tenderly, adoringly, I forgot the crowd, the place, the time, the reason... only remembering that he loved me, that he wanted me, that I was his.

~ Breaking Dawn



La vita e bella. Life is beautiful. I woke up today knowing that you were coming home and today I will be able to see your eyes again. I love you baby and this much is true; today I woke up smiling because in all darkness, you are coming home. I know today

Baby, today's story was in a far away land. Lights and fairies were free to roam and the skies were wide open books to be read. Adventures and stories in these lands were so common but none more endearing than the story of the lamb and the lion. And there is was on the plains of silence that there was this lamb. Silent as the night and gentle as the breeze for this lamb was lost. He woke up never knowing why was he roaming the hills and never knowing where he came from. And he looked high and low. Searching among other lambs for a place to call home or someone he could recognise.

And on the other plains beyond the hills was a lion, and she too searched. But she looked for her lamb. For it was many dark and stormy nights ago that her lamb was taken away and never seen in the mountains again. She hunted high and low, sniffing the air for any hint of scent but nothing showed itself. She hunted by day and night, following the stars. No river was left untouched or bush undisturbed as she continued to find.

For once, they lived happily tending to themselves in the mountains. And in the midst of the mountains, there was ever joy in each other and the stars would shine for them and the sun would smile behind the clouds. But the traveling hyenas always looking for an easy prey would happen to pass by the mountains and they hid and hunted for the lamb. For they were hungry but they were unwilling to oppose the lion head on. So they waited for the cover of the night and in the darkness they crept.

Holding him off, they rushed off in delight only for the lion to give chase and great was her anger. They made haste for the meadows and in the darkness, they fell and with them the lamb. The lion roared and howled into the night and started down the mountains. The lamb by miracle survived but cracked his skull and lost all memory. Left searching, they were separated. But the lion kept looking and the lamb kept searching for his meaning he knew he was missing.

Forests and sharp edges stood between them but they always looked. And many moons passed and one sunny day they met but the lamb could not remember and he looked in awe and fear. The lion leapt forward in joy but they were not aware of the eyes in the shadows that also leapt at the opportunity to pounce. They leapt to surprise and beyond the shadows, the hyenas appeared ready to take advantage of surprise and a tired lion. But the lamb too would have none of that and rammed right into the horde of hyenas.

The lion gaining composure clawed and roared them into escape. Looking and gazing at the lion, the lamb muttered, "You seem so familiar. Your eyes tell me so many stories but where my mind fails, my heart speaks. I know your face" The lion, teary eyed, said, "You are my lamb and I'm your lion. We are meant to be. Do you not remember me?"

To which the puzzled lamb, spoke, "But you are mighty and I am weak. My head aches but this is clear in my mind. You are everything to me right now." The lion, gently purred and moved forward, "Indeed you are my meaning and I am yours. We should go home now. You must have been so frightened and without you, I know nothing but sadness." The lamb stepped forward, "But I was never afraid, somehow, somewhere, although I do not remember you, I knew you would come. Because I am yours and you are mine."

With that, they vanished. Some say the lamb never remembered his past and came to love the lion again. Some say that the lamb remembered and too came to love her as once was. I like to think that they were meant to be. It is written. The lamb only knows this; today was made to love a lion and today is another chapter of love that the lamb is waiting to complete with the lion. Whether I can feel your hand or not, your heart is here with me and mine with yours. I love you baby and I miss you so so much.

PS. Bie, I'm here waiting. Lamb is not going anywhere. I'm going to be here. Waiting for you. Smile for me baby because I am for you, only you.

keep falling with me

I thought you were so dumb, so mean and monotoned. Now you're caring, loveable and speak to me with passion. I guess one kiss under a stary sky can make you fall in love. I pray we keep falling.

~ I Guess We Can Fall In Love



Today you're tired and feeling down. But the weather I'm painting for you is nothing worth being down about. Today, you're leaving on a jetplane but in all reality, the only place you're going today is right to my heart. I know you must be thinking what can be so great about hopping on a plane for a two day work trip being tired with nothing to look forward to. But lamb wants lion to know that with each passing day, we are approaching each milestone.

If before, we have nothing to look forward to. Today, we can wait for next week when our food adventure begins and more importantly, the next milestone in our chapter. And with each passing day, each passing milestone, I look back and wonder where were you in the past years and I wonder maybe it's worth it what we have right now. So don't be down with all the worries and stress you have right now.

What we have right here, this place right here is called happyness. Sometimes, I do believe that all the bad stuff happens because only then will the great times be magnified and you want to cling on so much to them that they remain in your memory. Every second, be it at 18 meters under the sea, to dancing under the stars on sands with racing waves, to a kiss after a vomit, to the boat rides, to the meals that didin't matter before I met you to the movies both crappy and great. And of course, the times, I get lost in your eyes.

Today exists because it's another day to walk with you and another day to hold your hand and say today, I'm smiling and it's all because of you. Today, when we're both tired, we can say we are here for each other. I know you're busy before the plane takes off, so I'm writing this here to comfort you in all the madness. In all the craziness around us, I am here for you. If there is any sense or logic in this, I love you and tomorrow, I'm going to wait for you, my lion.

The stars keep falling and each passing day, today, I keep falling for you baby. Bad dreams, bad dreams go away. Good dreams, good dreams here to stay. Tonight, if there are no stars in your sky, rest assured that I am going to shine for you and light your darkest skies. Love you baby and from this moment, I miss you but it's okay. Love is just that, being there for you, at all times and tomorrow is going to shine all the brighter.

PS. Bie, I know it's simple and I know many parts are repetitive but everything happens for a reason. I love you for a reason and that reason is you.