Baby I love you

When I see your face..there's nothing I would change. You're simply amazing, just the way you are...

~ Bruno Mars

Baby..writing this post for you as you're tying flowers for Ena and YC's wedding. Just looking at the sweetest stars that God could have drawn in my sky, how privileged it is to be able to wake up to you everyday of our lives.

Am busy with work and thoughts lately, but want you to know in the midst of all the noise, you are the only thing that makes sense and continue to paint me smiles each day. Am taking this little bit of time before we go to church just to record this down; that you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and you still amaze me every moment by taking my breath away.

It's a like dark and gloomy outside but still sunny in my heart just looking at you now. It's strange how looking at you as my wife only means that every day of our lives, I will do more to earn your love and your heart as your husband. Can't wait for my birthday surprise and I do know you want that camera very much and your husband is indeed planning to get it for you. What my baby wants, my baby gets.

I love you baby and today, if I did not mention it out loud, you're beautiful. This is my note to you. It's simple but it's our story. Write with me. Always.

PS. Bie, each day, each moment with you is my greatest treasure of that day. Muacksss

The Most Beautiful Day

Most couples begin their vows by describing each other as the clear sky after the rain; or something like that. Mine begins with a question, "What Are We?" It has been one year, seven months and fourteen days since you last asked me this. I know this not because I am a nerd, but because I remember my promise to you that broke all your rules.

Today, I stand before the sweetest star that God could have created in my skies. My hands are sure, my hands are steady, as I write this chapter for both of us called, marriage.

So what are we? Apparently, you're the woman of my dreams and I'm the man of yours. On the days that you are most ugly and grotesque, on the days that every moment of you takes my breathe away, everyday of our lives, I promise you; me.

My Solemn Vow, Gardens, Cyberview Lodge (The Sixth of November 2010)



It seems like an age since we've been together and yet our journey has only just begun.

No words explain it best than these beads underneath your shoes on the most beautiful day of our lives. It begins right here, after so many days of waiting for it to happen. It is here, it is now, it is our forever.



That morning, I woke up to this song in mind. The same song that appeared on the day that you turned to me so slowly and whispered my first "I Love You" from your lips. This serene song of Lathika's theme. I rubbed my eyes, half awake and embracing that finally the day had arrived. Gently, I picked up the phone to call you and within seconds you answered. This silent wave of calm swept past me as I cracked my first smile of the day. This day I knew would be ours; I love us :)



Standing hand in hand, I remember brushing past your tears to feel you. Perhaps everyone felt that it was a natural reaction for me to protect you and wipe away the tears. It was not. It was simply me, reaching out to you, letting you know that this moment, this emotion that overwhelmed you, it has also overwhelmed me as well. That this moment, we share at the altar, will be the first foundation stones we build in our marriage. You are a huge part of me, in fact the whole of me and I hope I will be the same of yours.



Standing before God and man, we made a vow. My heart would always belong to you and before the altar of God, I promise you me as you did to me. I always believed that the vow before God is only testament to what our hearts speak. It is a symbol to profess what our hearts feel first as a custom, as a religion and more importantly, as a language of love. I know you do not believe that love has to be professed but that is simply what a wedding is. My statement to you; that I will always love you, cherish you and treasure you all the days of our lives. In every imperfection of you, you are the perfection of me.

Like Jack Nicholson, you make me wanna be a better man.





Walking out as man and wife. I clutched your hand. There was no firmness, only that touch of you reaffirming me that our dreams were coming true as we made our first walk as man and wife. Every step was a step to the beginning of our marriage, every step we make forward, I promise you is a step we will always make together in life.

I always think that I could do things alone. I feel that it's not about doing things alone because I could anymore. But I feel that this life would be so much more meaningful with your hand in mine as we traverse the many things before us. And because of you, everything just seems all the more beautiful.



All the little details that we poured our blood, sweat and tears into for over a year just manifested itself and took shape in all these little things on our wedding day. I remember you scolding me and mocking me for cutting these movie tickets and love shaped tags. I remember trying so hard although my hands were too big and clumsy to hold the scissors. And how I would do my best to cut those laces for you on your night dress. I know that I was not perfect or even decent, but maybe all these small things we did together made you smile as we journeyed each day closer to our wedding.

Inspite of all the mess I created, it was simply perfect to every detail on the day. Each small detail added so much to what we wanted. We never saw it as a whole but simply did all we could in every detail with the same love we had for each other. It was beautiful. La vita e bella, baby. Life is beautiful because of us.







Walking with you out of the car to the first surprise we planned for the night, this simply set the tone for the evening. From the moment, we stepped out of the car, I knew we were going to enjoy every moment we could. Surprisingly, I never felt nervous at all the entire day and as the car trod into the garden, staring out to the waiting crowd, I was geared up to complete the day and make it as beautiful as I could. Maybe because it was because we both waited so long for this to happen, or maybe it was you that always calmed me down. But I was sure it was love that was guiding us the entire day. Love brought us together and it kept us with so much happiness at the start of our marriage.

I know you felt this wedding is so important as the first start to our marriage. I admit that I felt that the day would not determine it but rather us. What the marriage did, was give us so many chances for us to go through this experience together. To see things together, walk this walk together and to find meaning in all the things we do; from the small the the gigantic. You mean the world to me.





Our photographer spent an entire paragraph on her blog wondering on the fate of the doves we released. What I remembered, was us holding on to the birds spluttering with fear and excitement. My eyes met yours and I smiled. I felt like we were so much like this birds eager to fly off to see the world together. So raring to get ahead and paint pictures of our world. The world is ours to see and experience and all I want to do is live this life with you. My heart; my heart; beats for you.



We walked in to an unsuspecting crowd. No one knew what to expect and we definitely were going to keep the fun going on. No one knew this was actually the start to the night. As your dress sashayed next to me, there was no hesitation, nothing but just us and the world watching.

I can't dance but I remembered how you smiled and simply moved to the music. And it began.



And we rocked the stage!!!



Actually *we (girls and us) rocked the stage!!!!!!!! The girls were simply special to us. Wanting to see the night a success, they were simply marvelous on stage; putting in hours and hours of practice into wanting to make it perfect. We love you for all this and more (Linda wants to adopt all of you)!



And the real party started..the family got it going and the dance stage was all theirs. They were simply what we want our wedding to stand for; a good time and all the love in the world. As I write this, I am filled with so much gratitude. First to God for making everything perfect and everything we could have asked for. And to our family and friends, we stand humbled in the presence of so much love and happiness. As we made our speech, a part of me wanted to reach out and say that it would have been lovely for my grandfather to have seen us that day. I realised then that he was indeed watching over us, smiling that old grin of his, the grandfather I remembered would have wanted the best for me. Watching me grow up, he was always looking out for me. I would have been so proud if he could smile seeing us on our most memorable day of our lives. I say a little prayer for you, ah kong as I write this, hoping you're watching us with smiles.



Everyday since then, I wake up to the smiles of you and with you, there is no end to the happiness that I can see. This blog has been my canvass to paint how beautiful the world is and it has been with us from the start of that one single question to each day we have gone through together to this pinnacle of our wedding. Do you see what I see? Happiness. You are my happiness in every way man could have created a definition for happiness. And you are my meaning, in every way possible. What began as a story of me, finding for something which I never knew what until I met you, to the most beautiful day of our lives,

To see your face, to hear your voice
And oh, to touch you is a dream come true
So I'm standing here, with my hand held out
Knowing that your love will never fade, I stand amazed without a doubt

And I wanna hear your voice, in the morning when I rise
I think I know I'm just a normal man, only made of sand except when you're by my side
Will you love me, teach me, don't leave me I pray
And when I, and I'm thinking of the times
Your hands in mine, together we will stay
You made me better today
Better than I was before
And now my heart can rest and I will search no more
You made me better today,

My heart has wings
Oh you take me away
And every prayer I've ever prayed was answered today
So I'm standing here, with my hand held out
Knowing that my love will never leave
My hearts on my sleeve and now I believe

And I wanna hear your voice in the morning when I rise
I think I know I'm just a normal man, only made of sand except when you're by my side
Will you love me, teach me, don't leave me I pray
And when I, and I'm thinking of the times
Your hands in mine, together we will stay
You made me better today
Better than I was before
And now my heart can rest and I will search no more
You made me better today

I stand proclaimed, true love is here to stay
I stand proclaimed, forever starts today
Today...
You made me better today
Than I was before
And now my heart can rest and I will search no more
Cuz you made me better today, than I was before
And now my heart can rest
And I will search no more
You made me better today
Today...
Made me better today.

I love you baby.



PS. Baby, I will always be committed to this love that binds us, to walk each moment with you and to me, you are my everything; my world and everything there is in it. I love you.

filling in the blanks

He was like an angel, you know? I never knew life could be like that. He was the one thing I followed through in my life, the one thing I didn't give up on. I was good at loving him.

~ The Untamed Heart



It's a Tuesday and I love you. I mean it. I mean it everyday. Tuesdays were created to love you F.Y.Y., my lion, my elf and my all. If there is a blank spot in my life, I believe that you were created to fill it. It seems that I am no longer needed to fill any gaps in yours. In fact, I am the pressure that you do not need and the presence that makes you upset. Because there is too much of me and I'm sad being the face that pressures you and upsets you. I'm sad being the face you don't want to look at.

So here I am going to give you what you want. I will stay away and I will not care about anything you tell me. Because you tell me different things everyday and don't care how I feel when you say you forgot what you tell me yesterday or what we agreed to. I will not wait anymore. I will not fight to find time for us anymore and I will not in your own words "sayang or care" about things around us and in between us so much anymore. And as you said, I hope you are happy. Maybe, just maybe because now you are finally free.

You have your friends, and anything else that keeps you excited and not bored and you have me, this selfish self centered person who needs to see you whenever I can also trying to also fit in. I am here fighting for time with you which it seems upsets you and pressures you because there is too much right now in your life. I don't want to fight for someone who doesn't want me to anymore. And I hope now you are smiling because you finally get what you want and you are now happy. You said I should be happy because I have a girlfriend who doesn't need me so much and I can do what I like. I like to see you smile so I will love you the way you want me to. All I want to do is love you and hope you are happy.

PS. There is no PS. I don't think there is one today.

Smile for me Baby

Daniel: You know, Sammy, I'm sure she's unique and extraordinary, but... the general wisdom is that, in the end, there isn't just one person for each of us.
Sam: [referring to the Titanic film] There was for Kate and Leo. There was for you. There is for me.
[Holds up one finger]
Sam: She's "the one".
Daniel: Fair enough.

~ Love Actually



Before you ask me why "Love Actually" again. I just want to say that picture says it all. You are perfect. And this wasted useless heart loves you. That's all that matters. I just needed another excuse, another reason to tell you the truth, that you are my reasons. You are all my reasons. You told me that you're not feeling enough love. You said you were emotional. But this is the truth, if you do not feel you are the happiest and luckiest woman on earth, then there is something I am not doing right. Am that something is that I really am loving you with everything that a man can give, a lamb can do and everything that this person, this idiot does is just to make you smile this sweetest smile.

You asked me if I love you. Here's the truth baby. I don't just love you. You're the one, the perfection in all my imperfection, the love of my life so I don't just love you. I love you with every breathe that my God has given me today, I love you so much that it hurts when you do not know, I love you so much that if you'd only know how much, you will smile endlessly. So this is the simple message for today, I will say it again and again. You're number one in my life and number one in my heart. And I love you more than anything else in this world. Hold my hand baby, you're beautiful. You make my every second beautiful. You complete me, you luckiest and happiest woman in the world.

PS. Bie, don't tell me it's okay. Nothing's okay when you're even a bit not that happy as you deserve to be. I love you and let me keep painting this perfect smile for you.

This menu called you're everything

Why do you want to marry me?
So I can kiss you anytime I want!

~ Sweet Home Alabama



People say that writing a recipe from scratch is difficult and a real labour of love after hours of experimentation and sacrifice to create a dish. Gourmet appreciation is an acquired art and dedication to the perfection of culinary delights. Each ingredient you choose to include in a recipe and later a menu must mesh together first to create the taste that is balanced and is able to woo the taste buds. Secondly, to contain the right amount of nutrients to balance the diet. Each ingredient is carefully measured to percision for the perfect taste. If you put that much care into the creation of a menu on a table, imagine how much more difficult it would be, to begin writing a menu of life.

Today is another day caught in between and I woke up today blinking for what appeared to be seconds thinking about you. Was dreaming of a table set by the seaside for you and you looked absolutely splendid and ravishing in your white gown. I was there by your side watching the sun set. It was perfect, you were perfect. Today I wake up inspired to write you a menu worth your lifetime.

Ingredients:-

I have tried my best to measure these must have ingredients in the menu to present a perfect gourmet for a lion to the best of a lamb's knowledge and ability.

1. Dry thyme and fresh rosemary, and other assortment of herbs and spices. I hope our love can be the spice that keeps things fresh during the most boring of days.
2. Starch and broth, I wish that our love will always be rich in flavour of life be it from the ups and downs that only makes us stronger in our relationship.
3. Water. The essence of cooking. I hope that our love will have all the essentials and the basics no matter how simple it may seem but important so that we may build a strong foundation of love.
4. Wine, milk and juice to add to the sweetness of the days we spend together. Although water is essential, I too pray for the gift of being able to sweeten
5. Salt and pepper to taste. Enough laughter and tears to last us to the end of our days.
6. Virgin olive oil to smooth us through the turbulence that will appear to test us
7. Vegetables to always have events that dress our life well. It doesn't matter big or small but I wish we would celebrate all occassions together
8. Meat to always have purpose and fullness of life enjoyed together
9. Rice, my baby's must have and mine. Although common, nothing is more special than to just live a normal everyday life together. The magic is not in the special moments nor do these moments define who we are, its the simple stuff that we do that makes this last.

Although this is not a complete ingredient list, I hope too to have the strength to care for my baby and love her to the end of our days together. This menu is special because although I can write it, it can never be complete without her. Without you baby, there is no menu of life.

Appetizer
Dumplings of You and Me. We're going to stick together through thick and thin. As long as our hands are never apart, no mountain will be high enough and no valley too deep for us to wade across. I know you don't really like dumplings but hope you like your lamb enough to start a journey that will last forever.

Fried Wantan of Togetherness. Like the essence of the wanton. Let our love create this bubble of fried layers around our love. Do not look back, hold my hand and start enjoying life for what it is.

Soup
ABC Soup of the Soul. We are different people yet common enough to make our soup and our life interesting and tasty enough. So cherish how we are both different and the same.

Entrees
Rice. What else but sharing our everyday together will do. Cooked just nice not too wet and not too dry, hope we can share the same aspirations to be just perfect walking together.

Side Dishes
Belacan kangkung. Your fav vege and mine too. Its taste is just spicy enough to tantalise but not too hot that it burns. Hope this passion will last and keeps us excited about love and life just nice and not burn us.

Dongpo pork. Pan fried and red cooked pork belly, like us, hopefully the taste of a great dish will inspire us to continue looking ahead starting with our DL list. Although not as famous, we have a list to live with and to aim for.

Peking Duck and Lobster. Red is the color for happiness, hoping for joy and celebration. Serving the dish whole, with the head and legs, like the completeness of our life through love.

Squab (or Other Fowl). According to Shu Shu Costa, the author of Wild Geese and Tea, pigeon has tender meat that symbolizes peace. Squab (pigeon) is similar to quail, so they both probably symbolize peace. I hope for a peaceful life with you away from all the small worries of life.

Vegetables with Sea Cucumber. I hope we will always be selfless true to the name of “sea cucumber” resembling “"good heart” or hou sam to always avoid conflict together.

Fish. That we will always live in abundance of joy and happiness.

Noodles. That we will last forever and ever. My fav is still the instant noodles that you cooked and at the same time makes your mom mad at us :P

Dessert
Tiramisu that you bake with rum. Although my tounge still does not have the privilege, nothing tastes better than the touch of your hand and that will stay the same for all time. I bet its sweet enough for both of us to never stop smiling.

Cendol/that Hong Kong desset with durian that you like. Can also settle for cendol that we both love and I think will come to share the love you have for the same dessert from Hong Kong. Your smile is the sweetest thing that a man will ever see. May I always have the gift of painting it for you.

Wine Selection
White wine of eternal happiness. This one I will brew for you, everyday until we both grow white hair and lose all teeth together.

PS. Bie, this menus for you like the ones who wrote it. Lucky you because it comes with a lifetime guarantee. So pick me, pick our menu, and we'll enjoy it forever and ever.

this side right here...its called i love you....

Only you, you're the only thing I'll see forever. In my eyes, in my words and in everything I do.

~ West Side Story



At sunrise, everything is filled with light, everything lights up and is luminous but strangely unclear. My heart fills with hope that its another passing day and that I'm starting today with you but strangely everythings unclear because you're not right here with me staring at me and smiling. Its the third day and its among the most painful in waiting for you. Being deeply loved by you gives me strength, while loving someone deeply like you gives me courage to make today beautiful.

Another day has gone, I'm still all alone. How could this be? You're not here with me. Michael Jackson sang it best on the radio today. I'm trying my best to be as lovable to you as possible simply because I really miss you and want you to love me so much. Do you know why it rains in Taipei everyday? Its because everytime I reach up and hold a star for every time you’ve made me miss you, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand. The clouds had nothing to hide so it all fell down like my heart in Taipei and it started the second your foot touched Taipei. You asked me to be happy and smile for you, so I imagined today as a treasure quest.

The Chronicles of a Hobbit

I still recall the start of the adventure as clear as the blue azure clear waters of the plateau. This is a recollection of events leading up to our historic ascent to claim the legendary treasure of TrueLove. This is written as a beacon to those also seeking to find it.

I still recall being there in the middle of my mundan and repetitive job when I'm offered an opportunity to join a band of explorers and head into the hidden worlds of the Lost World. The phone call full of hope from my dear old friend, Professor SeaLamb was too exciting and surreal that it had to be false. The intrigue and the possibilities of finding what I've been searching for all my life, the one, was too hard to resist. The elusive treasure that all men seek but only few find. The burning enthusiasm was shared by us, the band of five that were chosen by Professor SeaLamb. We set out in the month of June of the year of the Cow. We reached the plateau of the unexplored island of Taipei with the aid of native guides, who are superstitiously scared of the area.



One of these natives, Missing You, is the brother of a man that was killed the last time he was with the expedition led by Professor SeaLamb in Hangzhou. When the expedition manages to get onto the plateau, Missing You destroyed our bridge, trapping us across from our base camp and the other natives. Our devoted aide, Misisng You Even More With Each Passing Second remains at the base, but is unable to prevent the rest of the natives from leaving once news spread that we were spread on the other side with remote chance of getting back. They left after looting and stealing what they could from our base camp. We turned on Missing You demanding how could he treat us this way before Missing You turned to us with an evil mad grin saying, "I warned you. This would happen when you're seeking to find the ETERNAL TREASURE OF LOVE. You need to risk everything without ever knowing you will find it." Laughing maniacally, he leapt straight into the waters of FIVE DAYS that separated us from civilisation.



Deciding to carry on and investigate the lost world, the party was divided on the way ahead but decided to venture further into the thick jungles ahead. The party started to grow restless with time as we did not know where we were and were really LOST. On the second day of wandering, we were attacked by huge birds of prey, which Professor SeaLamb identified as the "LOST WITHOUT SEALION SYNDROME". We lost HAPPINESS and MEANING to the attacks. The entire party's morale was down but upon finding a shallow stream of fresh water to which the natives knew as "SMILING ALL BECAUSE OF YOU", we were again spirited that we declared that the waters of FIVE DAYS will not bring us down.



We crossed the middle of the island and reached the middle mark of the swamp called "TWO DAYS LEFT" in an intact spirit and supplies. Professor SeaLamb remarked that this was the mid junction of our journey and we were full of hope that we were drawing closer to our goal to where the treasure was last seen. We found some measure of happiness at least reaching a milestone we set out for. We also found some blue clay at the swamps to which I personally take a great degree of interest in, naming it "CALF THAT MUNCHED MY BABY'S HAIR". Making a mental note to myself to explore the use of the clay later, we left the swamps to the next part of our adventure.



After exploring the terrain and having a few misadventures in which our expedition narrowly misses being killed by wandering carnivorous birds called "WONDERING WHAT ARE YOU DOING", the remainder of our party, Professor SeaLamb, WAITING FOR YOU, LOVING YOU RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW and SILLY LAMB are captured by a race of ape-men, the "LIFE IS INCOMPLETE AND FOOD TASTELESS WITHOUT YOU" tribe. While in their village, we find out there are also a race of humans inhabiting the other side of the plateau who the ape-men are constantly at war with. I managed to escape and managed to convince THINK YOU THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CREATURE TO WALK PLANET EARTH, the leader of the men residing on the other end to mount to a rescue. We arrived just in time to prevent the executions of the Professor and our party. We retreated back to the human tribe to regroup after the exhaustive rescue mission. With our help and knowledge of technology, we defeat the ape-men, taking control of the whole plateau.



Gaining freedom to explore the island at our leisure, we separated into all four corners of the wind, each to seek the fortune that awaited us. I chose the path of "LISTENING TO YOU AND LOCKING MY CARDOOR SO YOU WON'T WORRY" and went ahead bravely. There were many obstacles but we had given ourselves the two remaining days to search individually. I refused to give up no matter the cause because something tells me that I've found it. And searching for hours beneath the barren deserts of "I WISH I WAS WITH YOU NOW", I managed to pull out the long sought chest of "THIS IS ALL I NEED AND HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR". Tinkering with the lock of the SeaLion, it finally snapped open.



Therein, behold, I lay eyes on it for the first time, the missing treasure of ETERNAL TREASURE OF LOVE shining like the sun, radiant and more beautiful than I imagined. The moment I laid my eyes on the treasure that has brought down kingdoms and destroyed nations, at first it teased my eye but now its caught my heart. Flutttering the wings it had, it whispered, "You have braved the FIVE DAYS and many challenges but you will have to wait a bit more brave adventurer. When the time is right, you will find me again. So believe and wait." Rising slowly to take leave, the treasure offered me a smile which I will always remember as it turned back to say "I love you". With that,the treasure vanished into thin air. Stunned, I still found it hard to grasp that the wait will continue. My eyes were watery with all the effort as the realisation poured all over me and washed all my emotions. So I will wait, wait for my greatest treasure to come back to where my treasure belongs, right here where its beating for you.

PS. Bie, F.R.I.D.A.Y stands for For Real I Decided Another Year is too long a wait. We have a DL list. What my baby wants my baby gets. Am waiting for your smile right here right now.

Diving to the depths of our hearts

Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Because then I could go to sleep at night not
knowing there was someone like you out there. Love means many things to different people, but, to me, it's just the way I feel about you.

Good Will Hunting



We were in the car driving past the Sg. Besi turnoff heading towards the Federal Highway, my hand safely hidden under hers as we breezed along past the other cars. We had just survived a twelve hour journey back to the heart of civilization and it was a cold night with no stars overhead. She looked at me and she asked me, "What was it about the sea that you liked best?". I looked right into her eyes, pondering how best to tell her the obvious, "Well, its like this. I don't know what its called." She pressed my hands further, puzzled, "What do you mean you don't know whats it called? Was it the turtle? The blue spotted ray? The fishes?". I smiled as I carved the answer that everyone knew but her, "Well, its roughly 168 centimeters and has a ponytail. Don't know whats it called but it swims gracefully under the sea." She looked lost, muttering the same thing over and over again "Don't know whats it called?", still puzzled before her smile appeared and she laughed with me.

I believe that love has no age limit. It's not like drinking alcohol or gambling. You don't have to be 21 to love. I mean, when I was three, I loved my teddy bear. The only difference now is that teddy bear is now 168 centimeters tall, and has black hair and the most enchanting smile. She can talk, walk, run, and even dive too. I believe that love is special in many ways. I always read books, watched movies and even heard stories about love. I never predicted or knew how mine would turn out although I believed and hoped in the magic of falling in love.

The last three days was another chapter for not just me, more so for the both of us. I thought I had seen it all, been all the places that would matter. I now realise how little I knew. There were three incidents in the past days that will live in my memory from our 'little' trip to Tioman. Writing it down, helps me relive the memories and the passion that defines us moving forward.

The First Incident
Friday, 19 June 2009, Year of the Cow, 10:15

We were right there by the beach, sitting by the bench facing the open sea. The cozy hut of the common area was right behind us, it was empty with nobody in sight. Nick and Joyce were checked in and making themselves comfy. She was there with me as we sat on the bench, our slippers filled with sand as we wiggled them together. My eyes were steeled on the sea, rarely looking at her as she nervously held my hand looking at me. Both of us knew that I was barely ready and here I was before the moment that mattered. I smiled for her and she tried very hard to smile back too.

I remember her telling me that she believes in me and will be waiting for me as I stepped out to the burning shore with my gear, it was heavy but not as heavy as my heart. My heart was not racing but neither was it as calm as the sea that greeted us when we arrived. Nick looked at me, "Are you ready?" Taking a deep breath, "Lets rock and roll. My baby's watching".



I attempted no lesser than four times to go down, failing to even reach 3 meters in the pool with calm water. This was the open sea. This was dangerous. I was at the edge, my instructor was at the edge, there was no reason to continue and time was ticking. Both of us had the look of sorrow, I had dejection. He blurted in the waves, "You do not have to do this for anyone. Its okay. You have done your very best. Its okay to give up." I looked dead into his eyes, "This is it. Pull me down, don't let me surface. I can do this. I know my limits." Pulling me down, all I could think of was you, "Girl, you hear me? Talking to you, across the waters, across the oceans, under the open skies. Oh my, baby, I'm trying". That was the tipping point, the point of no return, you were right there with me. I was done. I made it. Against all odds. We made it.

The Second Story
Friday, 19 June 2009, Year of the Cow, 17:53

My head splashed the water apart as I reached out for the skies. Taking in breathes of fresh air as I held my cramped leg. My cuts and bruises were hurting, the sky was getting dark. I was tired of drinking in salt water and burning my throat. It was so painful, it was so difficult. Nick and you had surfaced. This was the moment, the descent which I later learned was staked at 12 meters. Everything is now. Our eyes met, I knew what I had to do, you were right there with me.

We wasted time in my clumsy descent, but we were rewarded to see turtles and anemone inhabitants from Nemo and family. I will never forget the first time we saw the underwater world together and how much it will mean to us a long time from now. The brightest stars shined for me in the depths of the sea. Because of you, I see. I see the world that you fell in love with and were hooked on. I saw beauty and perfection, I saw you and I saw forever. Everything was right in the world.



The Third Chapter
Saturday, 20 June 2009, Year of the Cow, 21:23

I drew out the Southern Hemisphere Cross constellation for you and you drew our love in the skies. We were there by the beach on the sands as the waves ripped gushing towards us, playing us their melody. Ray's Dive was barely warming up and we were looking upwards. I was seeing our future in you. We made many toasts but none more important than to the both of us. We made it here, to this moment together. I'm sorry for the times along the way that I screwed up and am grateful for the moments that warmed me. For the time you stood up for me when none believed, telling Nick in your usual stern voice, "Do not underestimate Derek Tan!" with that determination in your eyes I fell in love with.



It was unlike Redang. There was serenity, there was not so much sweetness but there was a lot of growing up in love. We understood how much it meant to both of us. All this. Having fought so hard to get to where we were, the sacrifices, the rush of emotions, we deserved to be right there. We proved ourselves, our love over and over again, we fought so hard and it was off our chest. We had accomplished item number one on our DL list and now, everything appears possible. It was a moment of fatigue and a moment of triumph. We were relishing and celebrating that we got there together. I'm here because of you baby. Thank you for loving me.

Right here, right now, I love you baby and that will last us our lifetime. That southern star constellation is often said to be a sign of luck. Maybe it was luck smiling on us, maybe it was more. There is an English saying that fortune favours the brave. I don't think it was just us being brave in all the storms, it's also meant to be. Some things happen at the right time, at the right moment. You have to want it, but things are given also at the right time and there is no gift I would trade for over you. In more ways than one, I complete you and you complete me. That moment as we looked up at the stars and the sea sang, you were right there and there will you stay with me forever.

Closing my eyes last night, I saw my brightest stars telling me, the time is just right, that our story is just beginning.

PS. Bie, the road is long but I believe that nothing is impossible with you, and that together, we will overcome every hurdle and see our forever in the palm of our hands. I love you.