[Yes. Because every single day I've thought about you]
Murron (Sophie Marceau): [hesitates, impressed despite herself, then smiles] Do that standing on your head and I’ll be impressed.
William Wallace: Well, my kilt will fly up, but I’ll try.
~ Braveheart
Waking up today, its a day that she 'lost' her voice. Today it will be me doing the talking for the both of us. In order to best approach and treat this illness that makes her unhappy, I have googled the web for the best remedy which I will attempt to admister and use in accelerating her healing. Had to riffle through archives of 'gazillion' medical doctrines, records and case studies to compile this document. Fingers crossed with lots of love. All I want is a potion of love to make her better so I can see her smile again.
Source: Tan, TheWreck, editor. TheWreck's Manual of Tender Loving Care Diagnosis and Therapy. 1st ed. Tan Brothers Publication, Malaysia: TheWreckTan Research Laboratories, 2009.
Subject Matter:
sore (adjective, sor⋅er) throat (noun, throht);
Sore Throat (noun)
Definition
Sore throat, also called pharyngitis, is medically defined as a painful inflammation of the mucous membranes lining the pharynx. Sore throat may be caused by either viral or bacterial infections or environmental conditions. TheWreckTan laboratories has run serious research on a group of infected lions to actually prove that sorethroat is also a condition of discomfort that induces a lion to not be able to communicate through roars or voice to its captive lamb during the mornings and forces the test subject into using hand signals to communicate what the heart has to say. Further experiments confirm that infected lions have difficulties dealing with fatigue and stressfrom insufficient rest. One of the most fearsome diseases that lions deal with that inhibits the enjoyment of other food and love.
Causes and Symptoms
Sore throats have many different causes, and may or may not be accompanied by cold symptoms, fever, or swollen lymph glands. Proper treatment depends on understanding the cause of the sore throat. According to the concurrent tests on the same pack of lions, the causes of the sore throat on the test subject are believed to be due to the consumption of fried assam sotong despite early warning signals and the inadequecies of moisture and liquid in the diet of a lion. There is cause of belief that this can also be contributed to the lack of Tender Loving Care (TM) that the lion keeper should know better to provide. Note to lion keeper to pay better attention and to be strong in order not to easily give in to demands' of the lion despite the lion possessing the most beautiful stars as eyes and the voice that can melt hearts.
Diagnosis
It is easy for people to tell if they have a sore throat, but difficult to know what has caused it without laboratory tests. Most sore throats are minor and heal without any complications. A small number of bacterial sore throats do develop into serious diseases. Because of this, it is advisable to see a doctor if a sore throat lasts more than a few days or is accompanied by fever, nausea, or abdominal pain. In another case study involving an elf, it has been noted that the cause identification key for the sore throat has been self awareness by the elf herself. It is a known fact that diagnosis of the sore throat seriousness depends on the colour of the tonsils. The practicising diagnostician of TheWreckTan Laboratories had difficulty diagnosing the seriosness of the illness on the elf has been attributed and been blamed due to the tongue of the elf mysteriously always attached to the mouth of the diagnostician. This calls for more serious investigation into this mystery.
Treatment
Effective treatment varies depending on the cause of the sore throat. As frustrating as it may be to the patient, viral sore throat is best left to run its course without drug treatment. Antibiotics have no effect on a viral sore throat. They do not shorten the length of the illness, nor do they lessen the symptoms. Suggested lab tests have shown that a lot of Tender Loving Care (TM) has been proven to be the best medicine. The best cure is not what money can buy but rather what the practising healer can not buy with money. Solutions have ranged from absolutely all the time in the world, unlimited love and the priority to place the patient as number one all the time. More scientific tests are required to prove this theory in practical.
Alternative treatment
Alternative treatment focuses on easing the symptoms of sore throat using herbs and botanical medicines.
Ayurvedic practitioners suggest gargling with a mixture of water, salt, and tumeric (Curcuma longa) powder or astringents such as alum, sumac, sage, and bayberry (Myrica spp.)
TheWreckTan laboratories stand by the belief that in the instance that TLC (TM) treatment is insufficient (which is next to impossible), the best alternative is to allow the practicising medical consult to always pamper the inflicted test subject with even more TLC (TM) which is simply nature's best gift of medicine. The laboratory is also testing by having its banana testers speak in broken and laughable Chinese to the test subjects. Although the test subjects have been known to break down in laughter, the effect on healing the illness is still unknown.
Prevention
There is no way to prevent a sore throat. Although to the contrary, TheWreckTan Laboratories has been conducting intensive research ranging from diving to the depths of open water to writing love notes that any disease can be prevented by a lot of love and a great amount of love in return by the other suspected infected party.
Resources
Books
Lamb, Sea, editor. The Therapy of Love and More Love. 10th ed. Sea Lamb, Malaysia: The Fine Lamb Institute of Higher Learning, 1314.
Hobbit, Cute, editor. The Lord of Love. 26th ed. A Hobbit's Den, UK: Fiction, 1983.
Key terms
Antigen — A foreign protein to which the body reacts by making antibodies
Lymphocyte — A type of white blood cell. Lymphocytes play an important role in fighting disease.
Pharynx — The pharynx is the part of the throat that lies between the mouth and the larynx or voice box.
Love - Love is the strongest emotion that the world has ever encountered. Unknown essence and healing powers yet to be fully explored by man. Love's powers have been said capable of bottling fame, brewing glory, even stoppering death.
Lion - Fearsome creature, enchanting and alluring yet possessive. Many unknown qualities yet to be explored. Engage at your own risk. Some have been captured for lifetimes
Tender Loving Care (TM) - Scientific methodolody of providing a lot of love in constant doses to overcome any illnesses
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