The road goes on

Then tomorrow we may all be dead, but how would that be different from any other day? This is a war, and we are soldiers. Death can come for us at any time, in any place. Now consider the alternative. What if I am right? What if the prophecy is true? What if tomorrow the war could be over? Isn't that worth fighting for? Isn't that worth dying for?

~ Morpheus, The Matrix Reloaded



This is a story which chapter no one knows how it would end. This is a story about a lion and a lamb. Maybe it was never meant to be, that they were never meant to be together. For even in the beginning, the lamb broke all three of the lion's rules:-

1) He was younger
2) He worked in the same company
3) He didin't know Mandarin

Everyone said that they should not be together and not many people gave this a chance. I am here today still fighting for my chance. She said things will change. That she will love herself more and she will not have the strength to love me as much as before. Did it really take her that much effort? Did I really demand too much from her that she was unhappy? I am still here believing. Maybe the only one.

And I think of Morpheus' words, that tomorrow we may all be dead but yes that would not be different from any other day. Everyday will be a war for me to win her back. And I am her soldier, her knight who has hurt her. Death can come for us at any time, in any place. Now I too consider the alternative. What if I am right? What if everything I believe in is true? What if tomorrow the war could be over? Isn't that worth fighting for? Isn't that worth dying for?

Hope, as the Matrix concluded, or rather the Architect concluded, hope, it's the single most delusion of strength and also weakness of mankind. I close my eyes and I see this vision. This vision of both of us being happy. This dream I'm seeing, probably I'm the only one seeing it right now. She doesn't believe in this although there is a small hope in her that remains and I have not stopped calling out to her hope. It's the climb for both of us.

'The Climb'

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

I have to believe that maybe tomorrow. Just maybe tomorrow, the pain will let her go. Just that I have this chance right now when I thought everything was lost. So it starts from the moment I woke up, to do the right thing, bit by bit. And she will see. I have to believe that she will see because I see this. In her eyes, I have hurt her, betrayed her very trust that she places on me, counting on me to always be there for her and I have destroyed everything she holds important. She does not deserve this and I can not undo the past. But I can be strong and do the right thing and make both of us smile again.

The road goes ever on. I have today and I pray for all the good that is in me, please let her smile because I want to smile too. I believe.

PS. Bie, if you ever feel ready to read this. I want you to know that I'm the one, that you were always right about me. I will make you the happiest and luckiest girl for real. One step at a time. Believe with me.