The best of me

"But to see her was to love her, love but her, and love her forever."

~ Robert Burns



Today and most days are a mess of catching up with life. But there is always a calm for me in my new routine. When things become too messy or things seem to fly by. I close my eyes for five minutes and I see you. For that few moments, that calm guides me on what to do.

You left back home for the week today and all a lamb can do is have these moments with you. And I see you here with me most of the time. Although the busyness of the day leaves me not much time to write to you. But when I do, I write not just to tell you that I love you but I write too to be at peace and know that love will always support me.

Today, driving by and listening to the radio, about the favourite past times of Malaysians, was also thinking about my favourite past time and that still is lazing around with you. I write today, to let you know that the best of me, is you. I wake up think about the day, the beginning, the middle and the end. I plan my steps and what I'm going to do flows right in. And something else also floats in at the same time, this part about you. I don't know or can plan you but something everyday about you makes me smile and you become the best part of me.

People often ask me. What's the best quality I can describe myself as. I haven't been asked that in a while. But if I'm ever asked that again, you can be sure that my answer will be you. It will always be you. Penning off this short note with a short story I once read.

There was a poet and he wrote about love. But he was not in love. His poems were a favourite with the ladies but everytime some one asked him what inspired him, or what drove him to write about such beautiful poetry, he would answer with this, "I am not in love because I simply have not found someone worth loving. Or my soul has not found it's worth". At this, most would simply shake their head and walk away non-chalant at his behaviour and his deemed superiority. One day, he told the same to an old soldier and the soldier replied, "Worth of love comes from worth of self. You haven't looked inside yourself and you will never see. Love does not appear, it finds you. God knows how many times you must not have looked when love came knocking".

Anyone can write about love. But only one who embraces it, will find peace. Even the most beautiful poetry about love will turn people away. The simplest of poetry about love in the eyes of a person in love is a treasure. Wonderful words can capture the imagination and ensnare the senses, but it can not set love free. People look for love in poems, movies, writings, novels, but all along love is all around. I too need search no more, I see my love that will last a lifetime in you. And I love you baby.

This is my poem to you today, you are and will always be the best of me and I hope the best of us. Today's beautiful and I only wish you were here with me in this moment. Seeing what I'm seeing always, you.

PS. Bie, today I saw a brownish fading black bird and it reminded me of your hair. I saw a tree waving, and I'm reminded by the way you move, as elegant as the breeze. And I saw a black spark, and I'm reminded of your eyes and the soul I see in them, perfect. I take a walk today and everyday, and I see you.