time

Frodo: I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.
Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times; but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.



Was driving down the narrow lane into the traffic congestion this morning past the old row of shophouses as usual when a blue car darted out from the side. Taken aback, I let it pass and with most cars usually having bumper stickers nowadays, this one said "Prince & Princess On Board". Chuckling or rather displaying my evil smirk, I further saw the lady at the wheel waving her tissue goodbye to the wind before quickly winding up the rear window. Wow, that's some way to be a princess. And that moment that lasted for 5 seconds was the only period of time the entire morning until this very second that I did not think about her.

Every other second was occupied with her and her alone. I finally figured out that its not a question of time either. Spent the whole day with her but the moment I stepped outside her house, I felt this tight feeling in my chest that things were not okay at all. Steping into my car as I saw her wave goodbye before disappearing still hurts the same and the funny thing is that I'm missing her more than ever. I do not know the answer to why is that so. But what I do know is that it has continued into today until this moment of typing and its getting worse by the minute. May is calling and its going to be a trying month I feel for both of us.

But again since that is something I can not control, I would rather spend the time that has ben given to me to love her with all I have. So many things could happen that could have made missing her worse or even be so caught up in the pain of missing her that everything turns sad. I would rather smile than be sad because of her because she would wish the same for me too. Her memories will keep me happy in the days to come. I think I can decide either to make everyday happy or sad because of her and thats what I thought of this morning and what I will be thinking of in the days to come. I would like to be selfish but I would not be as happy as I could be. I would like to be one who tells her how everything should be done but thats not me. What I want to do and should do is I want to be here for her, always.

Ps. Bie, I think it will last a year or more and you'll always be number one....