~ The Princess Bride
Life's as real as the feelings that you feel. I never saw a new chapter coming. I never did think that it would be today. The only thing certain from now on I guess is that it will always be uncertain. I write this down today to remind myself on the gloomiest of days that this is the start and that no matter what I love her. I wish I could buy her trust but the greatest things are always the most difficult. Things that last forever do not come easy. She didn't sleep last night, looking at me, breathing me in, feeling me, just being with me. If she could smile last night, then I will always make her smile.
I walked to her place today, holding her charger and holding back tears. It's difficult to love someone who hates you and cries when they look at you or be near you. But it's okay because I have to believe that I'm going to make her happy forever and ever. She told me that the lion is afraid of continuously biting the lamb and that it would be 'better' and 'easier' for the lamb and lion to go their separate ways. Still don't understand why she thinks giving up forever and ever would be better than facing it together.
She asked me how do we face this together when she can't even stand me. Time and love heals all things. It makes things new and makes it stronger. You just have to believe. Me? As for me, I just need to always be by her side. When she tells me to run, I stay there bite her leg refusing to let go and just be with her. It hurts her and it hurts me but her sadness will go away. Because I can and I will make it go away. It doesn't matter how many times. She's afraid I will get tired and it will eventually become no more forever and ever. I'm here to remind her over and over again that there will always be a forever and ever.
She told me once that I'm the only person capable of making her smile and cry this way. I believe that to be true just not this way. I never thought that I would make her cry just by being around. If I can make her smile too, does this mean I'm torturing her? I am not nor do I plan to. This new chapter will not die a slow death but it will definitely make her believe that anything is possible in love. I need to be strong for both of us. For as long as it takes.
Perfection does not come easy. It's not easy to love someone perfect. No matter how many bites from a lion, her love will always heal a lamb. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow, she'll smile for me or most probably she'll cry but another thing for certain is that I will always love her.
PS. Bie, I don't know if you will even read this but you need to know that nothing in this life will separate us. Hold my hand. It's never going to end.
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