~ Shakespeare in Love
I woke up today dreaming of her three different times. Each time waking up calling her name. Fell asleep because was tired and each time I closed my eyes again, I saw her. Morning came and I felt so lazy to wake up. And then I remembered it was already Monday. Just one more day to go. Driving to work I remembered what we talked about and I just realised I just got through one of the most meaningless Sundays of my life.
It's funny really because I didn't do anything different than what I would not normally do if I had not met her but few months down the road. And just thinking about my Sunday, I feel awkward and strange how things have changed. How things are different once you have someone important in your life that what I've been comfortable with before seems a waste of time and meaningless. It's funny that way how much missing her can make things around me so dull and a blur.
Today's beautiful. It's a surprisingly beautiful Monday morning and I'm missing her every second but I'm listening and I believe like she says that she left her heart behind before she left. I left mine with hers to and I want her to remember that. That's why food here is tasteless, why sleep here doesn't seem enough, why my mind is always thinking of one thing, my lion...
I have a story for her today. Baby, there was this pencil maker who made all the pencils in the world. And just before he sent this pencil out into the world and putting him into a box, he took this pencil aside.
"There are 5 things you need to know," he told the pencil, "Before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best pencil you can be."
"One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in Someone's hand."
"Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you'll need it to become a better pencil."
"Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make."
"Four: The most important part of you will always be what's inside."
"And Five: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No matter what the condition, you must continue to write."
The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box with purpose in its heart.
Now replace the place of the pencil with your lamb bie. Always remember and never forget,
One: I will be able to do many great things, but only if I allow myself to be held in your hand. There is nothing great with me doing things alone for myself but in you, I find all my meaning.
Two: Together, we will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various problems in life, but we'll need it to end up a stronger couple tasting each bitterness together holding hands.
Three: I will be able to correct any mistakes I might make with you. Not because I can take things for granted but because with you, I know I have tomorrow to wake up to and look forward to and that is the greatest gift you can give me, the chance to be happy always.
Four: The most important part of me will always be what's on the inside and everything inside me is you. You are my reasons. You are all my reasons. I love you.
And Five: On every surface I walk through, I leave your mark. No matter what the situation, I will always love you and every step I take is just a step towards you. That's what matters and no one is leaving anyone. Because love does not last just a flicker in time, it grows stronger each day and we learn to live around it not by compromise but by embracing life together with love.
Another day to look forward to. Another day to miss you. Like that pencil, I just want to be the best that I can be for us. Lion, if you're reading this, your lamb misses you like crazy every second!!!!!! Need to see you, hear you and just be with you!
PS. Bie, you're beautiful today. I don't know why or how I know but you are beautiful and I love you baby. Today's beautiful because you're smiling when you read this.
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