~ Ever After
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. I confess I have been having troubles sleeping because reality, my reality right now is simply perfect and I find myself wanting to wake up at night to look at pieces of perfection lying next to me. I woke up this morning and found the bed I was lying on empty. And it pained me to realise that you're not here with me this morning. And I miss you.
Getting up today felt empty. Driving to work today felt empty. Walking into the office today felt empty. It felt empty because I was not waking up to you. It felt empty because I was not driving you and it also felt empty because I was walking into office alone without you. And what makes it even more empty is having breakfast without your smile.
Still don't understand how small things can ruin everything. Like how can you not smiling ruin our breakfast today which was supposed to be special. I appreciate it all but it means nothing at the end.
man/mæn/ Spelled Pronunciation [man]
There is perhaps more that defines a man than just physical attributes from a boy. And maybe it's strength. I have shown that I have been strong enough to carry both of us and hold us together at all times. Maybe that is a definition of a man? To carry both his and his woman's destiny and hold them both himself? Maybe not.
Maybe it's mental maturity. Maybe it's about how matured in thinking a person is to forsee beyond just the short term and emotions and do the right thing under any circumstance? I have always done what my heart tells me and that is why you feel secure in my arms. Why you can trust me with things when it comes to us. If you do not trust any of this then trust in yourself. Ask yourself, why do you feel comfortable and secure with me.
I am your man who will stand by you and protect you at all times, when you're smiling and I know you're trying. It's just I'm not sure what it is that you're trying to accept most times. Because you don't shut someone out when you're figuring out how to love him and just stop loving him while you think your own thoughts through. I want to be there when you're thinking something, not because I can change things or manipulate you but I want to be there when there is any issue with us. Because it's about us and both of us feel alone and cold when you turn away to resolve an issue. I am here and I will always be here.
It's not about a man or a boy. It's about this person that you love and I know you love me. Let it stay at that. Because that's actually the only thing that matters. The truth of the matter is, I love you and when I see you, you are all that I see. And I get lost in you most times. It's like drowning and the only thing I'm reaching for is you. I woke up to clouds of not being able to see you and I ate breakfast under clouds of not seeing your smile. But I know this. That true love is a color that never fades. I miss you and the color I always see is you. Wondering when I will see your smile again.
PS. There is no PS today. Just want your smile and my baby back. I love you.
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