Justine: I'm just this woman.
Yes baby, you are more than just this woman. You are my everything and I miss everything about you today. Yes, maybe I may not be smiling much when hearing from you while in the middle of a trip that you will be away again next week on another trip. But the truth is you made me smile today. You make me want to wake up to today. You made me smile when I heard your voice and you definitely made me smile when you told me you love me. As to the question of whether I know that? Of course I know that, it's the part of not being able to tell you the same face to face that maybe I'm not smiling that brightly.
But today, today is beautiful. I can list a few reasons why it is beautiful. For one, it's beautiful because you sound so sexy waking up in the morning. Secondly, today is beautiful simply because you live in it and maybe more so beautiful because today, you begin your trip back. I know I mention today a lot but today, I smile for you and I think there's nothing more beautiful than to have someone you love to smile for and look forward to meeting.
Baby, I want to write you another story today and I hope you will like it. Am not sure when you will read this but I hope you like this story. Today's story has a title, it's called, "Saving Private Lamb".
Lamb was a sad soul who was pushed around and not taken seriously in the community of other lambs. Lamb was too short they said, and he had parallel feet too some thought. The country of Lamb was under the threat of the invading alien force. So Lamb signed up for the army in hopes of finding meaning and to perhaps earn respect. Lamb was not the fastest runner, or the toughest soldier, or even the most sharpshooter in the army. But he was the most persistent and the one who endured the most humiliation. Because he realised that if he quit and went back, the band of lambs back home would only humiliate him further. So he persevered and was patient.
He bid his time and practiced hard to be the best private in the army. He never was the best but he was ready when he was called to the frontline. His unit, the 23rd Lamb infantry was assigned the difficult and most dangerous task of holding the frontline against the savage army of the invading aliens. Taking control of Fort Freedom One, Lamb and his unit fought bravely but as one by one of the other Infantry units were taken out, they were forced to fall back and defend behind the walls of Freedom One.
The aliens were savage and food supplies and weapons were running low. But Private Lamb refused to give up and urged the defenders on. One of the infantry unit managed to sneak by and run for help. Back at defense headquarters, they understood the importance of rescuing and recapturing Fort Freedom One so they agreed to send in the best agent, Private Lion to head the rescue party. Private Lion was one of the best in the army and she had been trained for specific rescue missions. The rescue party set out with full zest and enthusiasm to drive back the invaders.
There was a lot of coordination in between and Private Lamb offered to head the plan to ignite the bomb that would signal the start of the joint attack within and from outside Fort Freedom One. At dawn when it was most quiet on the 21st day of the tenth month, Private Lamb burst forth with guns blazing and as the others covered him, he set about to detonate the bomb. Everything went well except for the fact that the walls caved in with the explosion and Private Lamb found himself trapped. Knocking around he was surprised to also find Private Lion. Private Lion who came to support found herself trapped as well when the walls caved in.
Laughing in despair at their state, Private Lamb remarked, "Wasn't there a movie called saving Private Ryan? Maybe you're the one needing saving now miss". Private Lion growled in reply, "Yeah, did you think I did not know about the movie?". Private Lamb said, "It's not that. It's more maybe you're the one that I came into the army for. Maybe the entire reason of my life was up to this point. Maybe it's not about proving things to people and more about living my life. I think it's all to this point. I have nothing to prove. Let's get out of here".
Clasping their hands, they worked a way out through the cracks and by then the fighting was already over. They had won the day and driven the aliens back from taking over the last remaining fort at the frontline. "We live to fight another day then. Life is beautiful" Private Lamb smiled as they walked into the sunset.
I think loving you is about being persistent enough in loving and caring enough for you each day of our lives whether you are here physically or not. I think loving you is about believing in the bigger picture that we have a lifetime worth of loving and that keeps me alive and smiling everyday. You are my reasons. You are all my reasons. So you don't have to remind me to smile for you baby. Because of you, I am smiling everyday and living every moment. I know you are there for me always, when it counts and when you just are there. I hope I am here for you always.
You're not here today but that does not mean I can't fight for our love, I believe that I can make you smile even when you can not see me face to face. I believe that at this point, everything leads to us. Maybe all my life, I have been waiting for this moment to be with you. There are many battles ahead but in this war of life, trust me that I am your soldier, I'm not the best, the strongest, or even the toughest but I'm the one who will stand with you everyday for the rest of our lives. And everyday, I will paint you a smile that will last. And I can’t wait for our ending, that happily ever after. Today is beautiful day, baby. Miss you so much from the heart.
PS. Bie, waiting for perfection to come back to my life. I love you. I hope I can "save" you the same way you "saved" me. Smile for me today bie because I'm smiling and waiting for you :)
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