~ Moulin Rogue
Woke up today and there was this feeling of emptiness. Sometimes I get confused on how do I write for you, whether do I address you as her, or lion or as you. But today I am clear on this; I miss you so so much and my heart tells me that everything seems meaningless without you. YOU, YOU, YOU are this enormous thing that has gone empty today. I woke up to a missing person by my side and no warmth in the sheets. I woke up to this empty feeling because the biggest part of me is going away today.
It doesn't hurt but it feels so meaningless without you today baby. I told you whenever I can that everytime you go away, it does not get any easier, I miss you all the more. I know yes it's ridiculous because you're only gone for two days. But to me that's two entire days without you. I don't need you to see a familiar face or to feel warmth although you do all that to me, I need you and I miss you because you are every single meaning in my life and I am lost without you. Today I rushed to the airport but was still slightly late. Yes it's disappointing but nothing to be sad of baby as I know I'm on your mind. Did you know you never left mine too?
Today is the first day and the first night that you are away is always the toughest. Baby, I want to write this story so that maybe it can warm your night. Now, far away in this land there was this lamb who galloped hard into the day everyday wanting to write the loveliest fables and stories that the land could provide. He galloped far and wide, looking and searching high and low for that one story that would make his everyday. He wrote about the stars, the seas and sand, the green trees in meadows. Stories that would make people read in awe and inspiring. But these were not the stories that he wished to write. Not the stories that would remain.
He rode high and hard, long into the meadows and out from forests. Looking in vain he rested among the bushes. Wistfully humming a hymm as clouds drifted above. Little did the lamb know that ever since coming out of the forests was he watched as he lay in the bushes. Creeping ever so silently, the claws of the eyes that watched reached out and held the lamb in place. Aghast that a lion was before him, the lamb cried out in fear and fright only to have the lion placate and instruct the lamb to follow. And follow the lamb did, past Gardens in walks, meals in front of candles, dances under the stars and into the depths of the sea; past skies with birds and even to islands of great beauty.
And in that instant of most despair and when the lion was at her most ugly, the lamb came forth with a ring saying that this was the story that he had been chasing. The one chapter that he would always write, the ending that only his eyes would see. The lion cried with joy and they danced into the night. Now there was a time when the lion was summoned away and the lamb had to stay. There was a long silence into the night as the lamb promised to wait and write their tale. So he wrote a letter that spoke such,
"We are different in some ways and yet similar in so many. The sky is shining when I write this but there is no sun when you left with my heart. There is no sun not because my world is not bright anymore but because it shines for you where you go. It does not mean that you take my meaning away when you go but the truth is that you are my meaning and when you go, you take that part of me with you. So in all truth, it's far from me losing my meaning. it's simply my meaning is you. Although I am here, in all reality, I am with you. So I am here waiting for you. For us. Because without you, there is no me. I am a lamb but I am a lamb that will make you fall in love with me a lifetime. I know this because no lamb lets his happily ever after get away not even for a day. To this lamb, there is no other story worth writing, worth living than ours. I love you."
No one knows the ending of the lion and the lamb but I think there is no ending because there's this list and we have so much to do. The world is waiting. I am waiting. I love you baby. I am here for you. I write this for you and I am missing you so so much. Today is beautiful baby because of you. Imagine how perfect it would be if you were here with me.
PS. Bie, I love you. Enough said.
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