Day by day

Reuben Feffer: Since we have been together I have felt more uncomfortable, out of place, embarrassed, and just physically sick then I have in my entire life. But I could not have gone through that, I could not have thrown up 19 times in 48 days if I was not in love with you.

Along Came Polly (2004)



I wake up everyday and I see you by my side. I think of the most beautiful thing to say to you. For when a man wakes up and opens his eyes to the most beautiful person in the world, sometimes words are not necessary and I blink them again refusing to get out of bed and I just stare. Sometimes I lose track of time and before I know it, I must leave or be really late. It's not elegant the way I kiss you goodbye sometimes and I fumble, keep coming back to kiss you the same way. The same feeble and weak ways to say that you mean the world to me and if I could choose, the only place I would be in the world is in those sheets next to you.

Holding you close, smelling you and your hair, planting kisses all over you and touching our son before I leave. I walk out slowly, heavy thoughts of you and our son. That sustains me as I encounter people I hate driving on the road and the challenges in the office. I walk each step with both of you holding my hands and my mind. I pass each moment, thinking what will I need to do to make both of you smile. I call you and I hear your voice and I lose all train of thought again. I message you and each reply I get back sends a tingle through my heart.

I sit and wonder sometimes how could I not have told you how much these all meant to me. Could today I dare place something in hope again? I dare not. I only wish to keep painting you smiles each moment I can. I close my eyes finishing this letter to you. And I picture you again turning in that way only you could as time freezes and the same music plays in my mind. I take a look at the time and know it will be soon that we meet again. That brings joy to me. That little bump in spirit at the end of a long day. I can't wait to see you and our son soon. You are my meaning and will always be. I love you, today, everyday and the days to come.

When you read this one day, I wonder how silly I would sound or if this post does not mean anything to you then. But deep inside, I place hope that you would smile, you would understand that you are the most important thing to me in this world, my sweet beautiful lion. I love you, I love you. Yes, I love you.