What is sacred?
Of what is the spirit made of?
What is worth living for?
What is worth dying for?
The answer to each is the same. Only love.
~ Don Juan Demarco
Baby, dear love of my heart and the reason that I am. I write this to you on a day which you simply charmed my heart when you said you felt you were going to miss me today. It lifted me up and made me happy to face my day. I write this now because I know with all these clouds above you, how could you possibly happily face the possibilities ahead. I know by the time I find myself writing this, most of today will have passed, but I believe that all I want to say is that I am always with you.
I remember this story of this ordinary day. I say it is ordinary because it is not a "special day" that we set aside or something that everyone says we should celebrate. This was a day when we were at home after work at AirAsia. It was a tiring day and all we wanted to do was to go back to your place and relax and simply just not bother about all things in the world. It was breezy and gloomy and it was a long day at work. And there I was as usual, slowly creeping up to your place to bother you to leave and go home. I remember you used to tell me that you would invest a lot of time at work and not leave as you would lose focus of time and place.
That was the first instance that I realised how much both of us had changed. When we drove our normal slow pace back along the similar slow paths, the sky faded gently into the dark. Colour by colour began to lose its shine and faded and gave way to the night. My hands were firmly clutched into yours. I struggle to remember why I smiled so much or why you held me so tightly and tenderly on the simple ride home. We drove home and stopped on the usual corner shop just right around the corner of your house. It began to rain and I held out the umbrella as we ran. As usual, being the careful and overly cautious one, I decided to steadfastly to bring the umbrella along. And as per the very rare occasions when I was right with you, it rained hard but short
When we left I always remember this warmth of holding your hand in one and the umbrella in the other. We walked in the rain and you were a bit upset as you really wanted to walk Prince out that evening. We drove slowly back into the driveway and we settled back in. I went up for a shower and before you knew it, the clouds rolled away, and you jumped up and down over simply being able to walk Prince out. We jumped out into the walkway and there after the drop of rain was the most beautiful sky with all these stars shining above.
I wish I could tell it simpler about how I was simple reason enough. There might be no stars tonight after the rain or a walk with Prince. But every moment with you was a cheer to this silly lamb's heart. On a day when it rains but no stars peek, on a day when it seems there is no reason to cheer, let me be that reason. Let me be all your reasons. I am here. I am here to whisper how much you mean to me. That I can be these tiny pockets of lights in the sky that will make you smile. With all these small reasons beginning with this post and more. I want you to be happy so I can be happy. I love you and am here for you. Always. Painting all these reasons that make the stars of a seemingly normal and sad day. I want you to be happy. So smile for me. Muacksss
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