todays beautiful...

The Egyptians had a beautiful belief of death. At the gates of death, the Egyptian gods will stop the wandering spirits and ask the souls who arrived two questions. Two questions to see if they could enter or not or flee in anguish for all eternity. The first question the gods would ask is, have you found joy in your life. And the second, if you have given joy to anyone else in your life. If actually does not matter how those two questions are asked, the only way I'm going to get into Egyptian heaven is if I will love my baby forever.

Whats the use of getting into heaven if I did not love another soulmate for a lifetime? Whats the use of only finding joy once, twice when you should be happy for a lifetime? When you get to heaven, you do not get asked how many cars you managed to buy, or how much cash you managed to rake in or how big a house you managed to own. In a lifetime, a man is not measured by how much material success you have but by the measure of your heart and the love you managed to look for and give. Its not because I want to get into heaven but its because life is only worth living once you have found love, true love that will last.

Todays the second day shes not around and its like the first day. Just finished some work for the boss and been staring at her pictures for too long. Thought it would be nice to say something to her at the start of the day. Food has been and is still tasteless. You eat only to fill up your stomach. You find something to do to fill up your day and to try to smile as much as possible because she asks you to. You feel this emptiness but you can not explain why. Like everything you do is lacking something. Every step lacks a spring and sleep is never calm. Am determined to smile a lot today for her and because of her, the world will be a beautiful place today. Going to empty my mind in front of the idiot box soon and hopefully that takes away some of the emptiness although those thoughts are childish and wishful thinking.

Wondering hows her boat ride or rather her ferry trip to Yangshuo is. Must be scenic to take a ride down the river past the mountains and hills and valleys. Can almost feel the breeze blowing upwards towards her. Wonder if shes eating right. Wonder if its raining in the morning along the river. Wonder if I will stop thinking of her so much although I still think of her every second. Just want to be with her. Its that simple. It doesn't matter what shes doing or where. Missing the warmth of her hands and her goldfishes.



PS. Bie, words in the sands will be swept away, but you in my heart will ever stay.