~ Morpheus, The Matrix
If what is real is what we see, taste, smell, hear and feel then is real only us interpreting signals? Life is more than all that our senses feel and what our brain tells us. Life is more beautiful than that. If not, how do we know that others love us even when they are not around to show it? Or why does my heart becomes warm when I know that she's near and melts when she appears and walks into a room? Or why does everything simply blurs all of a sudden when she looks right at me? And I still can't explain how I stop breathing when she turns from just looking at me to smiling. Then the heart suddenly stops and the head spins and the world is perfect.
In truth, emotions and feelings do not last, or rather more accurately, they do not last without you doing anything. That is why humans are never contented. It's the same with love. For a silly lamb to make a lion fall and stay in love forever and ever with his silliness, it never ends. It's always about never being contented that you have won her heart for the day because once you've won her heart, you need to work many times more everyday to ensure that you treasure that heart that you have been trusted with. It's about always being there for her to love her and cherish her. If I've learned one thing, that's to always, always be everything she needs, her bodyguard, her shoulder when she wants to snuggle (still a cushion not yet a pillow), her chauffeur, her handyman, her insect killer, her partner in crime when she wants to do something evil, her consultant, her companion to talk to and everything more.
The question is not about how many roles do I need to play for her but how much can I be with her. She asks me why do I still write for her. Because simply because she's my reason, she's all my reasons. Today she's smiling and I can't help smiling too. She makes me fall in love all over again more and more each passing day. I wish that I did not feel sad about her needing more time if she makes it and earns the ensemble role as a venus fly trap. But if I did not care about the time spent with her, doesn't that mean I don't really care about her? She does not see how much she means to me. That every second I spend with her, I treasure.
What is real is that I do care about her and how much she smiles. Typing this, I'm thinking about her and tonight. I'm praying that she makes it so all fingers crossed although theres a little place in my heart that asks why I feel sad at the same time. Hope she's not that nervous later and she haves fun. That much is true. The truth of the matter is that she has my undivided support, so live life baby and I'm living mine too with you. What is also real is that I love her and I will say it again and again as long as she keeps smiling and holds my hand. Because I really do see how much she loves me too in her eyes and what is more real is that I too see forever looking back at me. And my heart stops and my head spins and the world is perfect.
PS. Bie, you are all my reasons. I love you. Today you're not in that audition alone, I'm rite here with you.
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