~ Twilight
It was so hard waking up to not see you around. I opened my eyes to Wednesday calling your name and feeling this slight cold inside me that you're not by my side. I had to whisper I love you to get out of bed, dragging myself out to see you. It was a bit cold this morning and driving to your place seemed so far away. I wouldn't say I drove like a madman but it was close.
Holding the steering wheel in both hands, was just thinking about what you told me last night. You asked me to think about how it would be, if I could imagine how life would be for you without me. You asked me how would it feel like if I suddenly stopped loving you or if I would just decide to walk away. It's not really a happy thought and I admit it's something that I never thought of before.
In the movie "The King and I", the king who could not love this foreign women said, "In these dreams I've loved you so that by now I think I know what it's like to be loved by you. I will love being loved by you." Being in love with you and being loved by you, there is no dream or life that I have that is not you and I know you're afraid that this might change in the future. But in a dream world or the real, there really is no possibility that I could think of that you do not exist in.
And then knowing you, you will probably think but what if and why do I think it will not happen if I'm so confident.
For your question number one: There is no what if baby simply because of the same reason you love me. Do you see yourself loving someone else because of any other reason? Because someone else is more handsome? Because he has more material wealth? Because he is a better person? I wish we all had answers why we love someone but that reason exists for a reason and it does not vanish just like that. I love you and I have no reasons to stop loving you. So this scenario or possibility will never come to pass unless you too don't want this anymore.
For your question number two: I am confident because I only see one person in my world and that person is you. I only care about how you feel and it's really because I love you so much that it pains me to even think of losing you. I am confident. I am steady. I am sure. Like Preston Burke. Because you are the only reason I need to be contented with life. You are reason enough to smile. You are reason enough to be able to smile at life. You are all my reasons.
PS. Bie, today's beautiful and you're definitely beautiful. Watching today with you is so beautiful and I can't wait to see you again at lunch. So hungry for you.
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